


Angels Fall

by sweetdiosas



Series: Bird Set Free [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Mostly Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possible Slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:15:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28891980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetdiosas/pseuds/sweetdiosas
Summary: After the fall of Shiganshina, Valeria Weiss becomes determined to live a safe, comfortable life within Wall Sina. At least until the events of Shiganshina repeat themselves in Trost, and suddenly Valeria isn’t sure what she wants anymore.(Season 1 - 2)
Relationships: Jean Kirstein/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Bird Set Free [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2174466
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> I do NOT own the characters of Attack on Titan. But I do own Valeria Weiss, her family, and any plot unique to her. Please do not steal.
> 
> This fic is already being published on Wattpad (under the same user of sweetdiosas).

There’s a lot of things Valeria Weiss knows, even at the age of 10 and a half. First, no matter what her brother told her, there was no way a human could become a bird.

Yes, that's what she wanted when she was just a few years younger. As a bird, she'd be free from the concrete cages humanity had been trapped in for over a century. 

And really, isn't that what everyone wanted? To be _free_? Free from the walls that had turned them to cattle, free from the Titans outside who spent days upon days trying to scratch and claw their way through the supposedly impenetrable gates.

If Valeria were to be born as a bird in her next life, she'd be free to travel outside the walls. 

But that was just a hopeless dream, she knew now that a human could never be a bird. And it was foolish to ever think that humanity would be able to push back the Titans long enough to regain any land outside the walls. 

That was the second thing. Though Valeria's mother was out there risking her life to secure supply points outside the walls in order to push back the Titans and regain land as a member of the Scout Regiment, Valeria knew that there was no defeating the Titans.

They'd always be out there, they'd always be humanity's biggest threat.

"Val! Did dad tell you the news?" Luca broke the young girl out of her thoughts, unintentionally causing her to drop the basket of apples she had been holding onto so tightly.

Her brother let out a sigh, quickly dropping to the floor to pick them all up. The rose covered shield insignia of the Garrison on his jacket seemed to shine beneath the sun like a glowing symbol of hope, reminding Valeria that perhaps pushing back the Titans wasn't such a hopeless mission after all, not when the military had people like her family helping. 

"Seriously? Dad won't be happy if you bring back a bunch of dinted apples, Val. Watch what you're doing."

"I'm sorry," Valeria whispered, staring down at her brother. "What news?"

Her question seemed to bring the light back to his eyes. "Mum's coming home today, remember?" He grinned.

Eileen Weiss was a well respected member of the Survey Corps, though her job unfortunately meant she was away from her family for long periods of time. It also meant that every time she went to work, she was willingly ready to sacrifice her life for humanity.

Once upon a time, Valeria wanted to be like their mother. To travel outside the walls and put an end to the Titans. It was safe to say their father had shut her down fairly quickly.

Valeria's emerald eyes widened, shining in excitement. "Today?" She gasped. "When? Can we go see them when the gates open? Please, Luca!"

Luca let out a laugh as he stood up, brushing the dirt from his pants. "Of course! But you gotta head home first, alright? I'll come get you when the bell sounds."

"Alright!" Valeria smiled, picking up the basket and taking off toward their home in excitement.

"Val, slow down! You'll run into something!" Her brother called out from behind, before scoffing to himself. "One day that girl's gonna get herself in trouble."

* * *

"Have you seen Luca today?" Karl questioned, keeping his eyes on the knife as he carefully cut into the pie he had just baked. "Jeez, that boy promises to fetch some bread before heading to the gate and then never comes home."

"He's already busy, dad," Valeria commented, placing the basket on the table. "He said mum's coming home today! That means he has to be manning the gates."

Karl's grip on the knife tightened for a moment. "Stay here until your mother's back, alright? I don't want you going to the gates when they arrive."

Valeria's eyes widened. "But dad!"

"Valeria." He turned around to look at her. "Just this once, alright? Next time, I promise you can go see the scout regiment return, but not now."

Valeria knew a lot about Titans for a 10 year old. She knew that the Survey Corps often took heavy losses every time they left the walls, she heard her mother late at night crying about the friends she had lost to the Titans. Valeria knew that every time her mother left, it was likely she would never return.

Valeria knew that her father didn't want her to know any of it. 

And that brought them to their current predicament. 

The room filled with an uncomfortable silence as Valeria and Karl stared each other down, until he suddenly sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Can you get the bread? I'm planning to make your mother's favourite tonight," he spoke.

Valeria stayed silent for just one more moment before she nodded. "Don't go see them when they return. Go to the bakery and then come straight home, do you hear me, Valeria?"

"I hear you, dad," she whispered.

Valeria didn't need anyone protecting her from the horrors of the outside world, she was going to see the corps when they returned. She'd get the bread, come home and then go again, Karl wouldn't know if she climbed out the window or not. He never did.

As Valeria walked back to the door, she came to a stop, turning to look at her father again. "Hey dad... Mum will love dinner tonight. I'm sure she's thinking about it right now as she rides back."

Though his back was facing her, Valeria could tell he had relaxed just the slightest. "I'm sure she is, Valeria." He paused for a second. "How about when you get home, you help me with the apple pie?"

Valeria's eyes lit up. "Really?" She asked with a smile. "But you never-"

"It's about time you learn the family recipes."

"Okay, I'll be right back!" Valeria grinned.

* * *

She had lied.

Valeria promised to go straight home, to help her father bake pies to celebrate her mother's return. But as soon as the bell sounded, she was running to the gates.

"Valeria, over here!" A boy, by the name of Eren Jaeger, waved her over. He was the son of the doctor Valeria and her family often visited. He and Mikasa were standing on some crates, with a perfect view of the Survey Corps who were making their way through the gates.

With a grin on her face, Valeria ran over to them, climbing atop the crates just in time to get a glimpse of Commander Erwin as he rode past on his horse. 

Though the grin was soon wiped off her face as she saw the grim expressions of the soldiers in front of them. "Huh?" She breathed out.

"Valeria, look, your mother." Mikasa got the girl's attention by pointing in the direction of Eileen Weiss.

Valeria grew up often hearing how much she and her mother looked alike, according Valeria's grandparents, Eileen's ocean eyes were the only thing separating the two. 

"Mum!" Valeria shouted, jumping off the crate with ease. She quickly pushed her way through the crowd, despite the strength of the much taller people surrounding her, and as soon as she had made her way out, she was jumping at her mother.

Eileen froze in surprise, before quickly dropping to her knees as she hugged her daughter tightly. "Valeria," she whispered under her breath, pulling away from the hug and gently tucking a strand of Valeria's scarlet hair behind her ear. 

Staring at her mother, Valeria could immediately tell something was off. "Mum-"

"Aren't you supposed to be helping your father?" Eileen asked, smiling softly at her daughter, though it didn't quite reach her eyes for some reason. "I'm sure he won't be impressed to see you skipping out on him, darling."

There was a sudden cough from behind Eileen, causing the woman to turn around. Behind her was one of her team members, staring down at her with a look that told her to hurry. 

Eileen nodded her head, before looking back to Valeria. "I have some stuff to do before I can come home, alright? So, why don't you head back? I'll see you tomorrow, I promise."

“Tomorrow?" Valeria blinked. "But you're supposed to come-"

Valeria was cut off by a loud scream, and before Eileen could stop her, she had spun around. The light in her emerald eyes fading as she caught glimpse of a bloody severed arm being cradled by an older woman, as she cried loudly for her son, begging to know that his death had done something good for mankind's mission to stop the Titan.

Valeria found herself unable to look away, even as she pulled herself from her mother's grasp and retreated back into the crowd. She could hear name being called out, though it was all muffled, as if she was underwater and couldn't resurface.

She was sure she knew all about the horrors of the outside. But overhearing what her mother saw outside of Shiganshina's walls would never prepare her for seeing what was left of a person after a battle against the Titans themselves.

Her father was right. A 10 year old shouldn't know what she knows, and no one should _ever_ wish to leave the walls. 

* * *

Valeria sat beside the river, her legs hugged close to her chest as she stared at her reflection in the water, barely listening to the conversation happening between Armin, Eren and Mikasa.

She couldn't stop thinking about the Survey Corps, about how many people must've died outside the walls... how her mother could be next.

What would happen once her mother died outside the walls? Would they bring back her body, or would it just be an arm like that poor woman in the square?

How was Valeria supposed to look at her reflection when she'd only ever be reminded of her mother who died for people who never knew her name.

Eren suddenly threw a pebble into the water, the ripple breaking Valeria out of her thoughts. "Why does everyone act like you're crazy if you want to go outside?" He asked.

"Because staying within the walls has brought peace for a hundred years," Armin told him. "They're afraid that if many of us venture out, we'll risk letting them in. So the royal government declared any interest in the outside world taboo."

"That's our lives we're risking, so it's our business!" Eren stated.

"Why would you want to go outside the walls, Eren?" Valeria finally spoke up. "It's dangerous out there. You saw it today, look how many came back injured or dead! Why would you-"

"He can't," Mikasa said, calmly as ever. "No."

Her words made the other three all look toward her, but Eren just continued anyways. "Valeria, your mother is a soldier in the corps, how come you don't understand?!"

Valeria averted her gaze, a frown tugging at her lips. "You wouldn't understand either, Eren, your father is just a doctor."

Eren was quiet for a moment, before glancing at Mikasa. "Speaking of my parents... why did you tell them?"

"I don't remember ever saying I'd help," Mikasa told him.

"Your parents know?" Valeria looked over to Eren. There was no way they'd approve of it, no one ever did. Valeria's own mother had barely spoken to her parents during her training years, all because they didn't approve.

"How did it go?" Armin asked.

"Well... they weren't happy," Eren answered. 

Armin sighed. "I bet. But you're right. I wonder about those who think staying inside the walls will protect us forever."

Valeria had thought about it a lot actually, about how one day the walls would fall. They'd have to, nothing can last forever. But if they were lucky, it'd be years and years after their deaths.

"Just because the walls haven't breached in a hundred years doesn't mean they won't be breached today..." 

"Today?" Valeria laughed. "Come on, Armin. There's no way-"

Valeria was cut off as the Earth shook beneath them, throwing the kids up into the air, before they fell back against the concrete. 

She quickly pushed herself up, her eyes widening in confusion. "What was that?" She gasped.

"An explosion?" Armin suggested.

They all turned to the nearby street, watching as other citizens began pointing out the direction of the explosion. "I think something fell from the sky!" A man shouted.

"Fell... from the sky?" Valeria repeated under her breath.

Armin suddenly took off running towards the explosion, causing the others to follow after him. 

"What's wrong?" Eren called out to the boy who had stopped just ahead. "What can you see?"

As Valeria's eyes flickered from Armin to the wall, she found herself freezing where she stood. Right there on the wall, was a giant hand.

The walls, Maria, Rose and Sina, had been built to be larger than any known Titan. The walls had protected them for a century now with no risk of an event like this.

And yet here they were... standing before a Titan that could tower over the walls built to protect them.

The Titan's hand gripped the top of the wall, shattering some of the stone as it pulled itself up just a little higher. 

"No way..." Armin gasped. "That wall is fifty meters tall!"

The large skinless head loomed over them, its shadow covering the entire town as it stared down at them like a predator ready to attack. 

The ground began shaking once more, and before they knew it, the Titan had kicked a hole in Shiganshina's walls. As a large gust of wind brushed past, Valeria was forced to close her eyes, and when she finally opened them again, debris was flying everywhere, crushing people and houses that were nearby the wall and far from it.

"It broke... a hole in the wall." Armin fell to his knees.

The crowd remained frozen in place, until a smaller Titan finally stepped through the wall. Screams could be heard from every direction as the citizens began running for their lives.

"We need to go!" Valeria shouted, trying to shove Armin and Mikasa away from the direction of the wall and the Titans who kept pouring in. Though the three of them were forced to stop when Eren began pushing his way through the crowd. "Eren, come back!"

"My house is over there... my mum!" He spoke weakly, realising the possibility that his mother could be dead.

Breaking away from Valeria and Armin, Mikasa began to run after Eren. "Mikasa!" Armin called out.

Tugging Armin's arm in an attempt to get the boy to follow her, Valeria spoke up again. "Armin, we need to go! Now!"

Armin's right hand, which had been reaching out for Mikasa and Eren, was finally lowered to his side and with a quick nod, the two took off running in the other direction.

They barely made it out of the main square before they were splitting up, determined to find their families before following through with the evacuation plans. 

Valeria followed the path to her house in quick steps, everything else going by in a blur, whether it was from her pace or the tears in her eyes, she didn't know. She didn't _care_ , she just had to find her father, or even Luca. 

_Luca_... maybe he could go help Eren and Mikasa.

Stuck in her thoughts, Valeria barely noticed as she was lifted off the ground. Though when she was realised she was being pulled in the opposite direction of where she had been running, the panic began to set in.

The young girl began squirming, causing whoever had grabbed to her to let go, letting her fall back to the ground below their feet. Valeria quickly scrambled onto her feet, only relaxing when her eyes fell onto her father.

"Dad!" She cried out in relief.

Though the relief didn't stay for long as Karl quickly grabbed her wrist, and attempted to take off running again. "We need to get to the boats!" He shouted, his eyes widening when Valeria pulled her arm back from his grasp. "What are you doing?"

"Where's Luca?!" She yelled, looking around frantically. "We need to find him!"

"Valeria! We can find him when we're safe!"

"No, we-" Valeria cut herself off as she saw her father's eyes drift upwards, only to be followed by a shadow looming over them.

"Valeria!" He screamed, pushing his daughter behind him as the Titan's hand swooped down and picked him up from the ground.

Valeria remained on the ground, frozen in terror and unable to take her eyes off the shadow of her father being brought high into the air, as she listened to her fathers screamed get louder and louder.

Slowly, Valeria raised her hands to cover her ears, muffling the sounds of her father's screams. Closing her eyes and ignoring the red that splattered across her face and clothes, Valeria thought back to earlier that day, when things were more peaceful.

She came back to reality minutes later, when a Garrison member had plucked her off the ground and was already using his manoeuvre gear to make his way across the town and to the boats. 

From where Valeria was on the man's back, she could just see the side of his face, and the tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Luca..." she whispered.

Luca quickly landed on the ground, barely able to look anyone in the eyes as the two were directed onto the nearest boat. Valeria almost forgot what was happening, till she heard everyone screaming and crying.

That was right... the Titans had breached the wall, her dad was dead. Valeria's grip on Luca's jacket tightened as she hid her face against his shoulder, hot tears falling from her eyes.

Wall Maria had fallen, they were never going to be safe again.


	2. A Long Three Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which valeria joins the 104th trainee corps.

Valeria Weiss was just ten and a half years old when she looked death in the eye for the first time. She was being stupid, trying to find her brother even though the Titans had breached Shiganshina, and it cost her father his life.

She had watched as a Titan mercilessly killed her father right before her eyes.

It was a devastating day for everyone. Mankind had lost so much land, so many lives. And then even more during a project to retake Wall Maria. 

Everyone knew it was a pointless mission, one that had only been pushed forward due to the food storage in Wall Rose after the survivors had arrived.

Though Luca had tried to go back to normal, Valeria knew better. She knew things would never be normal again. Not if Luca kept getting promotions within the Garrison Regiment, not when their father was never coming back, not when their mother had been killed in the mission to reclaim Wall Maria.

A lot had changed since Valeria witnessed the fall of Shiganshina. That's why, at just 12 years old, Valeria Weiss had enlisted for the military. A training program which would last three years, and if she ranked in the top 10 at the end, then she'd be able to join the Military Police and retreat further into the walls.

Right now, that's all that mattered to her. Getting as far from the Titans as possible. If she were lucky, she'd never come face to face with those monsters again. She'd never have to relive the worst day of her life.

"You there!" 

Armin quickly jumped into position, his right hand placed against the left side of his chest. "Yes, sir!"

"Who are you?" The Instructor, Shadis, called out the questions he had been asking many of the new cadets.

"Armin Arlet, from Shiganshina!" The boy quickly answered.

"Yeah? That's a stupid name. Your parents give you that?"

"My grandfather!"

"Arlet, what are you doing here?" Shadis got close to the boy's face as he spoke.

"Trying to aid humanity's victory!" Armin answered. 

Valeria had to admit that him even enlisting had come as a great surprise to both her and her brother. Back in Shiganshina, Armin had always seemed weak, much weaker than Mikasa and Eren. Both of who had chosen to enlist as well (though Eren's enlistment didn't come as a shock at all, it was all he had been talking about since the fall.)

Valeria guessed that the blonde only enlisted to stay with his friends. Yes, that had to be the reason. Or maybe Armin wanted to retreat further into the walls, escape the Titans he had seen infiltrate their city on that devastating day.

Most people would choose that option, the Armin of two years ago maybe... but Valeria didn't really know those three anymore.

"That is indeed wonderful... then you will feed the Titans!" He suddenly placed his hand on Armin's head, turning him around. "Row 3, about face!"

Valeria turned around, keeping her back straight even as she glanced at Armin from the corner of her eye. Hopefully the boy had the guts to make it into the top 10, she doubted he'd last very long in the Garrison or the Survey Corps.

If he could even make it through the next few years of training. Valeria could recall the stories Luca would tell her of men who were all talk, but when it came down to it, they had washed out in the first year. 

At the same time, Valeria hoped Armin didn't make into the top 10. It would mean one less spot, one less spot that could've been hers.

The Captain moved onto the next row, firing his questions at another cadet. "Who are you?"

"Thomas Wagner, from Trost!" The boy stated. 

"I can't hear you!"

"Thomas Wagner from Trost!" He repeated louder. 

"Too soft! Go practise in the cattle shed!" He ordered, moving onto the girl beside Thomas. "You, next!"

"Mina Karolina, from Karanes!" 

"Wrong!" He told her. "You are from the pig shed, worth less than cattle!"

"Yes, sir! I am less than cattle!"

"No, you're a fly, swarming around a pig's ass!" He shouted.

"Yes, sir!"

The Captain continued a few more times before moving to the next row. "Who are you?!"

"Jean Kirschstein, from Trost!" The boy answered, loud and clear. 

"What are you doing here?"

Jean blinked in surprise. "Joining the Military Police, for a life deep within the walls."

Valeria found her eyes drifting over to the boy, just as the commander head butted him, causing the boy to fall to his knees. "Who told you to sit down?! Anyone who can't handle this will never make the Military Police!" Commander yelled.

This was going to be a long three years...

Valeria's eyes flickered to a girl just a few steps down the line, who was eating nervously. Though the instructor seemed to notice her at the same time as he walked over, stopping in shock.

"Hey, you... what are you doing?"

The girl looked around, probably wondering if he was addressing her or not. But her taking too long made Shadis step closer, raising his voice when he spoke again. "You're the one I'm talking to! You! Who are you?!"

She quickly swallowed the bite of potato she had taken, before quickly jumping into the stance, even with the potato still clutched in her right hand. "Sasha Braus, from Dauper Village, Wall Rose South District!"

"Sasha Braus, what are you holding in your right hand?" 

"A boiled potato!" She answered. "The kitchen had a fresh batch, and I couldn't resist."

"Did you steal it?" Shadis asked. "Why? Why would you choose to eat a potato now?"

"Letting it get cold would've been a waste, so I decided I should eat it now," she stated. 

Shadis blinked. "Well, I still don't understand... why would you eat that potato?"

Sasha looked up at him in confusion. "Are you asking me why people eat potatoes?" She questioned.

Valeria stared at the girl in shock. First she was eating during the induction, and then she was speaking back? Valeria doubted the instructor would go easy on the poor girl.

Suddenly Sasha tore off a part of the potato, holding it out for him. "You can have half..."

Shadis took it, his eyes flickering between the quarter of potato in his hand and the girl in front of him who thought it was half. "Half..."

* * *

"He's still making that potato girl run," Connie pointed out.

"Wow, five straight hours?" Eren asked.

Valeria nodded as she leaned against the wooden railing in front of them. "Honestly, it seemed like the idea of not having dinner scared her more than being ordered to run till she drops," she commented. 

"If I remember correctly, Dauper Village is a tiny hunting village, deep in the mountains," Connie recalled. 

"Ah, I feel sorry for her," Valeria sighed, lowering her head for a moment, causing her bangs to fall in front of her eyes. "She's gonna be too tired for training tomorrow, she'll probably be punished again."

"You think they'd do it twice in a row?" Mina asked from behind the girl.

"Huh, what's that?" Eren pointed at a wagon that was heading out of the camp.

"The dropouts," Mina answered sadly. "They requested a transfer, to the frontier."

"What? But it's only the first day." Armin's eyes widened.

"It was only a matter of time," Eren shrugged. "If you aren't strong enough, you have to leave."

Everyone turned to look at him in surprise. "Hard to believe they'd rather go back to weeding and picking up rocks," he continued.

Marco suddenly pushed himself off the railing so he could stand properly. "Hey, he didn't ask where you were from, did he?"

"Shiganshina, the same as them," Eren nodded toward Armin and Valeria. 

"I see... that's-"

"Then, weren't you there that day? Did you see the Colossal Titan?" Connie asked, causing Valeria to freeze up.

"Y-yeah," Eren answered hesitantly. 

Valeria moved away from the railing, crossing her arms over her chest as she kept her eyes focused on Sasha. "You shouldn't ask so calmly like that, Connie," she muttered.

With Connie as straightforward as he was, and Sasha as stupid as she was... yeah, this was going to be a long three years.


	3. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which time passes, but Valeria remains as determined as ever to join the Military Police.

Three years had passed since the day Valeria enlisted for the military. The training had been intense, and just kept getting more and more so.

But it was all worth it, there had been word that Valeria could possibly be in the top 10, it meant she'd be able to join the Military Police.

It meant she'd be able to get further into the walls and away from the Titans that took everything from her and so many others.

The wind brushed against Valeria's face as she zipped through the forest, her grip on her swords tightening as the cardboard Titan got closer and closer.

Though others were right in front of her, more likely to get there faster. Firing her manoeuvre gear once more, Valeria dropped down past Jean, striking the nape of the cardboard Titan, her swords slicing straight through the makeshift nape.

Valeria fired her gear again, causing the girl to go fly past Jean, who had fallen behind. Just by his expression, she could tell he was annoyed that the other three had gotten there first.

Jean's gaze drifted over to her for just a second. With her speed, Valeria was a blur of sun kissed skin, red hair and the green coat of their uniform, but time seemed to slow for a moment as she sent a wink his way before disappearing further into the forest. On the hunt for the next training dummy.

" _Valeria Weiss. While her strike form is almost flawless, she often follows the path that best suits her alone, leaving her unsuited for team work_."

* * *

"Come on, you think you're gonna get into the Military Police with a stance like that?" Valeria taunted, grabbing hold of Jean's wrist, twisting it back slightly to press his arm against his back.

She quickly let go, allowing to him to stumble forward. "Hey! That spot is mine!" He told her, chucking the blunt wooden knife they were using for training in her direction. 

"Right, and I'm a Titan," she rolled her eyes. "Let's get this over with." 

Valeria took a step back before charging at Jean, only for him to grab ahold of her arm, twisting the knife out of her hand before he kicked the back of her leg.

Her eyes widened as she instantly fell forwards, barely throwing her arms in front of her to block her fall in time.

"And you think the spot's all yours?" He scoffed. "If you can't take that, then-"

"Hey, I let you win!" Valeria quickly jumped back onto her feet.

"Sure, if that's what you wanna believe," Jean smirked.

Valeria's eyes narrowed into a glare, though before either of them could speak, a loud noise was bringing them out of their bubble.

The two turned around just in time to see Eren get kicked on his ass, followed by Reiner. "Ha! See, even that idiot knows when he's lost, Valeria."

Valeria elbowed Jean in his side. "Yeah, why don't you take the hint, Jean? Admit I let you win."

Jean let out a laugh, reaching down to pick up the knife. "Come on, let's go again."

* * *

"Hey, Mina, how well do you think you did during the manoeuvre gear test earlier?" Valeria asked, glancing at the girl who sat beside her.

"I think pretty well!" Mina smiled sheepishly. "Definitely not as good as you guys, though. I don't know how you all conserved so much fuel."

"Well-"

"Just give it one strong blast," Jean cut in. The girls turned to look at Jean who sat on the other side of the table with Marco. "Use the generated momentum, and you'll conserve fuel."

"You... you make it sound so easy," Mina commented.

Jean leaned forward to rest his chin in the palm of his hand as a smirk made its way onto his face. "Well, I guess not everyone can do it... but it's worth remembering. If you want to join the Military Police, anyway."

"Yeah, I hope I can get in..." Marco sighed dreamily. "I can't imagine a greater honour than serving near the King."

"You'll get in for sure, Marco," Valeria smiled.

"You think so?" Marco glanced at her, as he raised his cup to his lips.

"Definitely," she nodded. "More than horse-face here." Her emerald eyes meeting Jean's hazel ones as he glared at her.

"Hey, Marco." Jean slapped the back of the boy's head, causing the drink to splash against the bottom half of his face. "Cut the noble act and tell the truth! You want to join the Military Police because life deep inside the walls is soft and easy."

"No! I really think that-"

"Leave him alone, Jean." Valeria kicked the boy's leg under the table, causing Jean look over at her in surprise. "I bet you're aiming for the MPs because life is soft and easy in the walls too. Who isn't?"

"An easy life, deep inside the walls?" Eren spoke up, making the group turn to face him. "Until five years ago, _this_ was considered deep inside the walls."

"What's your point, Eren?" Jean asked.

"Jean, you don't need to go to the Interior," the boy said. "You've gone soft enough in your own head."

Valeria raised her cup to her lips in order to hide her smile, while Mina snickered beside her. 

"Don't you think it's strange that we're training to fight Titans, just to end up farther from them?" Eren questioned. 

"Who cares?" Jean glared at him. "For my own sake, I hope they keep this stupid system."

Eren jumped out of his seat. "You piece of shit!"

"Shut up! _This_ is reality." Jean stood up, the two getting in each other's faces.

Valeria sighed, taking a sip of her drink. "Not this again," she muttered.

"Stop it, Eren," Armin called out.

Mikasa stood up, removing Eren's hand which had been holding onto Jean's collar. "Stop."

Jean watched as Mikasa held onto Eren's arm till it had returned to his side, though as soon as it did, Jean was grabbing the boy by his collar. "Screw you!"

"Let go! My clothes will rip!" Eren shouted.

"Who cares about your clothes?! I'm so envious!" 

Eren glared at him. "What are you talking about?"

Eren's expression suddenly softened, for just a moment, and in the blink of an eye he had knocked Jean to the floor.

Valeria's eyes widened in surprise, staring down at the boy who had landed on the ground just to her left. 

He quickly sat up, glaring at Eren. "What the hell was that?!"

"The martial arts I went through a world of hurt to learn while you were screwing around," Eren explained. "You think taking the easy way out, doing as you please, is reality? And you can call yourself a soldier?"

The entire dining hall went silent, until the door creaked open. "I heard quite a commotion," Shadis stated. "Would someone like to explain?"

Valeria's eyes flickered between Jean and Eren, who had both returned to their seats. 

Mikasa then raised her hand. "That sound was Sasha's fart."

The instructor's eyes widened. "You again?"


	4. Celebrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trainee corps reach their graduation day, and Valeria and Jean step aside to talk about the future.

When graduation day came, Valeria couldn't bring herself to feel sorry for the cadets who had dropped out during training any longer.

And while she was once sure that joining the Military Police and getting as far into the walls as she could was what she wanted, she was beginning to have doubts.

If she could join the Garrison, maybe she could prevent an event like Shiganshina from happening again.

But if she joined the Military Police, she'd be safe. 

She didn't know what she wanted more.

But out of the two hundred and eighteen trainees who had held on to this day, Valeria had been ranked in the top 10. She was given more than two of the more dangerous options. 

She had to be thankful for that.

"Dedicate your hearts!" Shadis shouted, causing all of the trainees to get into the stance. "Today, you trainee graduates will be given three choices. You can join the Garrison, protecting towns and reinforcing the walls. Or the Survey Corps, who risk their lives beyond the walls, in Titan territory."

"Or the Military Police, who serve the King, lead the people, and protect internal order," Shadis continued. "Of course, only the top ten students, whose names were just announced can join the Military Police."

* * *

"You did it!" Mina cheered. "You can join the Military Police, Val!"

Valeria smiled as she looked down at her drink for a moment. She quickly placed her cup back on the table, before taking Mina's hands into her own. "I'm so sorry, Mina! You deserved a spot in the top 10, too!"

Mina blinked in surprise before letting out a laugh. "It's alright! I think I-"

"You'll never beat them!" Thomas's voice made everyone go silent, as they all turned to look at him.

Thomas looked around nervously, before awkwardly continuing. "You do know how many tens of thousands have been eaten?" He asked Eren. "We lost over twenty percent of our population, so we know for sure. Humans can't defeat Titans."

Valeria swallowed the lump forming in the back of her throat. Thomas was right, humans couldn't defeat Titans. She saw as her brother who had been through the same training as her fled from a Titan as it ate their father, she saw all the bodies that the Survey Corps brought through Shiganshina.

She saw as her mother never returned from a mission to retake Wall Maria. What made Eren think he was so different than them?

"So?" Eren asked. "If you think we can't win, you'll just give up?"

"Well..." Thomas trailed off.

"It's true that humanity has only suffered defeat until now," Eren continued. "But we didn't know anything about the Titans then. Fighting them head-on is pointless. We did lose, but the information we gained gives us hope for next time! Will we abandon the tactics that cost tens of thousands of lives to develop, and let the Titans eat us without a fight?"

"Hell, no!" Eren answered himself. "I am going to exterminate all of the Titans, and escape these cramped walls! That is my dream... Humanity isn't finished yet!" 

With that, Eren ran out of the building.

Valeria let out a shaky breath, wiping her hands against her skirt as she moved to stand up. "I'll... I'll be back," she told Mina. "I need some air."

"Do you want me to come?" Mina asked, staring up at her with concern.

Valeria shook her head. "No it's alright."

Jean, who had been busy wallowing in self pity after ranking lower than Eren, found his eyes drifting over to Valeria as she exited the dining hall, his brows furrowing in concern.

* * *

Valeria leaned her head against the wall she was sitting against, a sigh escaping her lips as she stared up at the night sky.

To think that once upon a time, she had dreamed to see what was outside the walls... a lot had changed. But Eren's words had her wondering why she so easily gave up on that dream.

Because of what happened to Shiganshina?

Valeria never realised how much of a coward she was, until now. Sure, she was just a child back then, she didn't have the training she did now and that's why she just sat there as her dad was killed by a Titan. But if she were to see a Titan now, how could she say she wouldn't react the same?

"Hey." Jean's voice snapped Valeria out of her thoughts. "Aren't you supposed to be celebrating? You're joining the Military Police, be happy about it."

Valeria stared up at him. "You think I'm not happy?" 

Jean shrugged, moving to sit beside her on the ground as he carefully handed her one of the cups he was holding. Valeria looked at him in slight shock, before taking the cup. "Well, I think _you're_ the one who doesn't look that happy," she said. "You know, seeing that you're one step closer to a soft, easy life inside the walls."

"Well, I was happy till that suicidal maniac went on a rant about killing Titans again," Jean grumbled, raising his cup to his lips.

Valeria let out a quiet laugh. "Yeah, me too."

The two fell into silence for a moment, all that could be heard was the muffled laughter from the other cadets inside the building, and the wind as it carried the soft noises of the night. 

Until Valeria spoke up again. "I can't wait to get further inside the walls," she stated. "Far away from Wall Maria, away from the Titans. It'll be safer there, right? The Walls won't fall?"

Jean's eyes widened in surprise when Valeria turned to him for reassurance, during their three years of training, they had always been competing for a place in the top 10. Always having conflicting views about why they wanted to join the Military Police so badly. And while they did have moments where their friendship had really shown, it was never anything as vulnerable as this.

"Ye... yeah," he stuttered, quickly averting his gaze. "Wall Sina is the safest there is. The Titans won't breach the walls."

Though Valeria knew that there was no way for Jean to be certain about it, she couldn't help but smile at his words. "That's good," she whispered, going quiet for a second more.

Jean's eyes flickered back to her. Valeria's scarlet red hair, which usually was tied back in a braid during training, had been let out, cascading down her back in waves. 

And her eyes were focused up at the night sky, at least until Jean leaned over to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, and suddenly emerald eyes were staring into his hazel ones.

Jean's face lit up in red hues as he quickly looked away. "S... sorry! I just- you're..." he trailed off, reaching behind himself to rub his neck sheepishly. "You're very pretty."

Though the atmosphere around them had become awkward from Jean's action, Valeria couldn't help but smile softly, a blush creeping onto her own cheeks as she averted her gaze. "Thanks. You- you too!"

Jean raised a brow teasingly. "You think I'm pretty?"

Valeria's eyes widened slightly. "N- no... I mean! Jean, come on, you know what I mean!" She pushed him gently.

An almost comfortable silence washed over them once more as shy smiles were exchanged between the two, a dream of a future where things were safe enough for more moments like this between them.


	5. Walls Will Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sent to Trost to await the day they would pick which branch of the Military they would join, Valeria is greeted with a sight she thought she would never see again.

The morning after their graduation night, Valeria found herself with the other trainees as they watched the Survey Corps leave the safety of Trost once more.

While once upon a time, Valeria would've had to stand on a crate to look over the heads of the adults crowding the street, she was now taller, standing at 5'7 and able to see most of the survey corps from she stood. 

"Look, it's Captain Levi!" A man shouted. "They say he's as strong as an entire brigade."

"This is totally different than 5 years ago," Eren spoke up. "There are so many people who have high hopes for the Survey Corps!"

"Well, this is when they leave, not when they come back," Valeria commented, frowning for a moment as she remembered the woman crying for her son all those years ago. As she remembered the pain her and Luca felt when their mother didn't return. 

Until someone tapped gently on her shoulder.

Turning around, Luca came into Valeria's view, the mess of his red hair being the only thing she saw as he pulled her into a tight hug, almost lifting her off the ground in his excitement. "I heard you're joining the Military Police!"

"Luca, you're squishing me!" Valeria cried out jokingly, trying to knock the taller boy away in embarrassment. "God, I can't join the MPs if you kill me first, you know!"

Luca reluctantly let go, and Valeria immediately noticed the smile fall from the boy's freckled face. "What's wrong?" She asked in concern. 

"I just... mum and dad would be really proud of you, kiddo," Luca muttered, his head hanging low in what Valeria guessed was shame. Shame because Luca tried to save their father, and he couldn't.

But Valeria would never blame him for that, she wished he wouldn't blame himself too.

"Me? They'd be proud of _you_!" Valeria stated in attempts to cheer him up. "In just 3 years, you've become one of the top Garrison soldiers. That's amazing, Luca."

The two fell into silence as they started walking through the busy street. "You're heading into Wall Sina tomorrow, right?" He asked, causing Valeria to nod. "Good, it'll be safe there."

"I'll come visit when I can, you know," Valeria smiled. "After I get settled in, I mean."

"You better," Luca glanced at her.

* * *

"Huh? You're joining the Survey Corps?" Eren's eyes widened as he stared down at Connie.

Valeria looked away from the fixed cannon she had been cleaning, turning to look at Connie in shock. He had been so determined to join the Military Police, not once had she heard him even speak of other options.

"Connie, you were so eager to join the Military Police!" Eren pointed out.

"I was, but..."

"Your speech yesterday affected him," Mina stated. 

Connie quickly turned around. "Shut up! It was my own decision!"

"No need to feel embarrassed." Thomas walked over to the group. "It isn't just you."

"Thomas... you can't-"

Eren was cut off as Sasha walked over, holding something very carefully. "Um, everyone... I brought meat from the officers' storehouse," she whispered, opening her jacket slightly so they could see.

Valeria's eyes widened as she stood up. "You what?!"

"Sasha, do you want to end up in jail?!" Eren questioned.

"You really are an idiot!" Samuel sighed.

"Idiots are scary..." Connie murmured.

Sasha stared off into the distance dreamily, probably thinking about the taste of the meat she held so delicately. "Let's all split it... We can slice it and make sandwiches!"

"Are... are you crazy?!" Valeria took a step forward. "You need to take it back before they notice you took it!"

"Yeah." Mina nodded in agreement. "After all the land we lost, meat is really valuable."

"It's fine!" Sasha brushed it off, carrying it over to a nearby box. "Once we retake the land, we can raise cows and sheep again."

Valeria stared at Sasha in surprise. Did she really think it was possible to retake the land from the Titans? Valeria always thought that pushing back the Titans was a pointless mission, one that'd only ever result in death.

But maybe... maybe it was possible to retake Wall Maria. 

Samuel took a deep breath. "I'll have some of the meat, too!"

"M-me too!" Connie added. "Get it ready!"

"I also will, of course!" Mina grinned.

Valeria let out a sigh and began nodding her head. "Me too!"

"You guys..."

"Why are you standing there, Eren?" Samuel suddenly asked, as they all began to get back to work cleaning up the cannons. "We need to get back to work, or they'll find out."

"It isn't lunch time yet." Mina waved.

Though maybe it wasn't the right time to be thinking it, Valeria knew that today could be one of the last days she saw all of these people alive, especially considering a lot of them had changed their minds about the direction they would be taking.

Tomorrow she would be heading deep into Wall Sina, and they'd be joining the Scouts, risking their lives every single day. 

Even knowing that, Valeria could tell things were going perfectly now. 

"Hey, Mina!" Valeria called out, as she stood back up. "Let's-"

Valeria was cut off by a loud bang and a bright flash of light striking the other side of the wall. A bang that was all too familiar. 

The cloth dropped from Valeria's shaky hands as she stared at the skinless face she remembered too well. 

The Colossal Titan... _it was back_.

Everything went silent, not even the wind carried a single noise, perfectly mirroring the day Shiganshina fall. And then suddenly a hot burst of steam was knocking Valeria and the other cadets off of the wall.

Valeria just fell for a moment, the shock coursing through her body and leaving her immobile.

Her eyes suddenly widened, and she quickly reached for the hand grips attached to the sheaths on her hips. And as soon her fingers were hitting the trigger, grapples shot out and attached to the wall in front of her as she manoeuvred closer toward it with the help of the gas in her tank.

"Samuel!" Connie shouted, and Valeria finally noticed the boy who was still falling.

"Shit, he must've gotten knocked out by the blast!" Valeria realised, though before she could go after him, Sasha was already releasing her own grapple from the wall.

Sasha ran down the wall before firing her grapples again, one piercing through Samuel's leg, and the other attaching to the wall again.

"Samuel, don't move!" She yelled.

Releasing a shaky breath, Valeria began to turn toward the gate, praying with every part of her soul that this wasn't a repeat of that day.

But as she looked at the gate, all she saw was a giant gaping hole. 

"No..." she gasped. "The wall was breached!"

"Not again!" Connie cried out. "The Titans will come inside the walls again!"

Valeria's hands were shaking as her grip on the controllers tightened, the memories of that awful day flooding back like it had just happened yesterday.

Luca, she had to find him. She had to make sure he was okay. Oh god, what about the other cadets? Jean, Marco, Mikasa, Armin... were they okay?

"Fixed cannon maintenance team 4! Prepare for combat!" Eren shouted loud and clear, breaking Valeria out of her panicked thoughts. "Our target is the Colossal Titan before us!"

Valeria stared up at Eren, watching him run up the wall. Before she shakily attached her controllers to the blades which sat in their respective sheaths.

"This is our chance! Don't let it get away!" Eren ordered.

She swallowed the lump forming in the back of her throat — an action that was hard to do thanks to how dry her throat had gotten — then aimed her grapples for higher up the wall.

Valeria always thought Eren was a suicidal maniac, but today he was right. 

They needed to stop the events of Shiganshina happening all over again in Trost. Humanity couldn't afford to lose another walled city.


	6. The War Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valeria heads back to HQ for her assignment, but finds herself forced to face her fears.

Not only had the Colossal Titan broken through the gate, it had completely destroyed the fixed cannons mounted atop Wall Rose, before immediately disappearing when Eren tried to strike it down.

"You trainees have all passed the final training exercise, and now are full fledged soldiers!" A soldier announced as everyone ran around the basement to prepare for the upcoming battle. "We expect great things from you!"

Valeria pressed her back to the wall behind her, her hands slowly coming up to cover her ears, much like she had done the day Shiganshina fell. 

The voices of the terrified cadets surrounding her became muffled by her hands, and though it did nothing to calm the overwhelming fear racing through her veins, it provided at least some sort of comfort. It always did.

It was happening again, the walls had been breached. 

Valeria was snapped out of her thoughts when she felt hands grab onto both of her arms, quite literally shaking her from the idea of what could be happening outside the HQ right now.

Slowly, Valeria removed her hands from her ears, everything becoming loud and clear once more. "Val, are you alright?" Marco questioned.

"Marco..." Valeria whispered, her eyes then scanning the room around her as she was brought back to reality. It wasn't just a dream, the Colossal Titan had really reappeared.

"We have to get out there," Marco reminded her. "Are you alright?"

He was right. They needed to get there and stop the Titans before any more lives were lost. Valeria nodded her head slightly, shrugging Marco's hands off her arms as she pushed away from the wall. "I'm alright. Now, come on."

Luca... hopefully he was safe and helping the citizens evacuate further into Wall Rose. If he was on the front lines... _no_ , no he wouldn't be.

"This is all shit," Valeria suddenly commented as they headed up to the courtyard. "We're supposed to be heading into the capitol tomorrow, why did this have to happen _today_?!"

Valeria knew how her words could've come across, like she didn't care what happened to the people of Trost as long as she was safe inside Wall Sina. 

And that just wasn't true at all, Valeria did care. _Too much_. She didn't want any of these people to experience what she saw that day, she wanted them to get out safely.

But at the risk of losing her own life? Could she really say it was worth it?

"Just follow your training! Split into groups!" One of the Garrison regiment's soldiers shouted as they arrived in the courtyard. "Under the Garrison's orders, you will resupply combatants, relay orders, and kill Titans!"

"Garrison intercept forces will form the Vanguard! Trainees, led by the supply team, will comprise the middle guard! The Garrison's elite forces will form the rearguard!" He added. "Also, messengers report that the advance team has been neutralised."

Valeria gasped in shock. They were already neutralised? That couldn't be true... 

"The outer gate has been compromised, and Titans have entered the city." He shouted. "In other words, the Armoured Titan may appear at any time to destroy the inner gate!"

"Not again..." Valeria whispered under her breath, her quiet voice becoming overshadowed by the surprised whispers of various others in the lineup.

"As we speak, the vanguard is engaging them," he informed the cadets. "We have but one objective in this fight: to defend Wall Rose with our lives until the evacuation is complete!"

"Also, as you are all surely aware, desertion in the face of the enemy is punishable by death!" He reminded the fearful soldiers. "Mark this well, and fight to your last dying breath! Dismissed!"

With one last salute, all the cadets were splitting off into their respective groups. And Valeria, still in a state of shock, found herself being pulled along by Marco.

He hadn't left her side since they were collecting their gear in the basement. 

"Why today?" Jean muttered, covering his face with one hand in fear. "As of tomorrow, I would've been in the interior..."

Valeria blinked away the tears forming in the corner of her eyes. Why did everything have to go to shit so fast? It wasn't fair.

Daz, another cadet, suddenly threw up onto the concrete. "Are you okay?" Christa asked him, gently rubbing his back. 

He attempted to look up, only to turn back to the floor as he threw up again.

"Shit!" Valeria shouted, turning her back on Daz. "This is all shit!" 

"Valeria, calm down!" Mina spoke up, quickly stepping toward the girl.

"Calm down?" Her eyes widened. "How are we supposed to be calm in a situation like this?! Have you ever seen what a Titan does to a person? We're going to die out there, Mina!"

Valeria's outburst only made Daz throw up yet again, as Mina stared at her in shock.

With a huff, Valeria took off, walking away from the cadets she had trained side by side with over the last three years.

All of the friends she had made... it was pointless now, because not all of them were going to make it after this. They'd be lucky if they did.

But Valeria couldn't watch another person die to those monsters, especially when she knew that she'd be unable to step up and help them.

That was the truth...

Valeria had blood on her hands... her father's. He'd be alive right now if she hadn't stopped in that street, determined to find Luca. All this time, her brother had been blaming himself, but he should've blamed her. 

Valeria came to a stop as yelling echoed throughout the courtyard. Eren and Jean's yelling, more specifically.

"Unlike you, I don't have a death wish!" Jean yelled. "Since you wanted to join the Survey Corps, I'm sure you're ready to become Titan food anytime! But I was to go to the Interior tomorrow!"

"Calm down!" Eren told him. God, Valeria was starting to hate those words.

"I'm supposed to stay calm and die?!" Jean snapped at him. 

"No!" Eren shouted, pushing Jean back against the pillar. "Don't forget those three years of hell we endured! In the past three years, we almost died so many times... Some of us really did die. Some ran, and some were kicked out... But we made it! Didn't we? So we can make it through today!"

Valeria turned around to look at Eren. Surprisingly, the idiot wasn't annoying her with this speech of his. 

"You'll survive today, and go to the Interior tomorrow, right?"

Eren let go of Jean's collar, but the boy stood still got just a moment, before he scoffed and began to walk away. "Let's go, Daz! Stop sobbing!"

Eren was right, they were going to survive today and make it the interior tomorrow.

Before she knew it, Valeria found herself running to catch up with Jean, who glanced at her in confusion when she finally caught up and grabbed his arm to stop him.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

She didn't really know, she just knew she wanted to speak to him, in case it was the last time. "I... I better see you in the Interior tomorrow, Jean. Do you hear me?" Her grip on his arm tightened just the littlest bit.

Jean's expression softened for a moment. "Only if you're there, too."


	7. The Price We Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valeria and her squad find Armin all alone in Trost, but upon finding him, they are also given terrible news.

"Armin!" Valeria called out, waving her hand in front of the boy's face as Connie began shaking his shoulders.

"Hey! What's wrong, Armin?" He asked softly, trying to get the boy to respond.

The two shared a look, before glancing back at Armin. "Where is everyone?" Valeria questioned. "Mina, Eren? Where's your team?"

Valeria had a horrible feeling, judging by the blood scattered across the nearby rooftops. But she didn't want to believe it, she couldn't.

That's why Armin needed to break out of his trance and tell them the truth.

"Wake up! Hey!" Connie continued. "Armin! Come on, Armin!"

Armin's eyes widened suddenly, like he finally realised that Connie and Valeria were standing there with him.

"Armin, are you awake?" Valeria questioned, her brows furrowed in confusion. 

"Are you okay?" Connie asked. "Are you hurt? What about your team?"

"Team..." Armin looked down.

"Get ahold of yourself, man," Connie sighed. "Why are you alone? And what's this weird slime on you? What happened?"

Armin's eyes widened and suddenly he was letting out a loud scream, causing Valeria to stumble back in surprise. 

"You useless idiot!" Armin screamed at himself, tugging at his hair. "D-die!"

"Armin!" Valeria shouted, rushing back to his side. "Armin, take a breath!"

"Y-yeah! Calm down, Armin!" Connie chimed in. "Where is everyone?"

Armin finally raised his head again, allowing Valeria to catch a glimpse of the tears streaming down his face. 

"That's enough, Connie, Valeria," Ymir spoke up. "They were all wiped out... all except for him."

Valeria took her hands off Armin's shoulder, as she moved to sit down, staring at the rooftop across from them. Ymir was right, there really was no other explanation.

Thomas, Eren, _Mina_... they were dead.

"Shut up!" Connie shouted at Ymir. "Armin didn't say anything about that."

"Ymir's right, Connie." Quickly wiping her eyes with her sleeve, Valeria stood back up. "What else could've happened? They wouldn't have just left Armin here if they were alive."

"Just look around you," Ymir glanced back at Connie. "We don't have any more time to waste on him."

"Why is Armin the only one who made it?" Connie questioned.

"Who knows." Ymir shrugged. "Maybe they thought he was already dead? It's unfortunate that they ran into multiple Titans. What a shame that only this loser survived instead of Eren and the others."

Valeria swallowed the lump forming in the back of her throat. Mina was really dead... she was one of the first people Valeria found herself able to open up to when they enlisted, she was Valeria's best friend.

 _Was_. That's the keyword here. Mina _was_ all those things to her, but now she was just a name on the long list of casualties.

"Want me to shut that mouth forever, bitch?!" Connie snapped at Ymir. 

Christa quickly ran over from her spot at the edge of the roof, moving to stand between Ymir and Connie. "Stop it, both of you!" She shouted. "No one's thinking straight... all our friends are dying so fast. It would freak anyone out!"

Valeria stood with her back to them all, unable to even look them in the eyes as she stared up at the sky. Slowly, she found her hands coming back up to cover her ears, beginning to tune out the voices of her own squad as her eyes softly closed.

Until Connie had moved on to shaking her shoulders. "Valeria, not you too!" He shouted. "Come on, snap out of it!"

Valeria knocked his hands away, but Connie didn't give up. "Are you okay?!"

Staring up at the cloudy sky once again, Valeria opened her mouth to speak. "It's going to rain," she whispered. "We should clear out the streets before that. It'll be harder to move when it's raining, we'll run out of gas faster."

Connie's eyes widened in surprise, wondering why that's what she was focused on after finding out Eren's squad had almost been completely wiped out. Mina, the girl Valeria had spent almost every day with these last few years, was dead. And Valeria only cared that it was about to rain?

"See, Connie, you should learn from Valeria," Ymir commented, crossing her arms as she let go of Christa. "She knows when it's time to give up on the useless."

Connie glared at Ymir, before crouching back down in front of Armin, his expression softening as he spoke. "Anyway, we can't leave you here. Can you stand, Armin?"

Despite Connie holding out his hand to help him up, Armin stood all by himself. "S-sorry for causing trouble," he stuttered. "I'll go meet up with the rearguard."

Valeria's eyes flickered to the boy as he moved to the edge of the roof, but it was too late to stop him, and he was already heading further into the city.

"Connie, let's go," Valeria spoke up, her voice coming out hoarsely as she held back her tears, refusing to let her emotions effect her in a time like his. "We have a job to do."

* * *

Valeria was right about the rain, not long after Armin left for the rearguard, it began to pour.

Maybe whatever god was up there was crying for humanity as more and more Titans entered Trost. Maybe it was the god's sick way of saying it was still there.

Whatever it was, the poor weather was perfectly capturing the mood of the day. Utter sadness.

Valeria came to a stop on an empty rooftop, sucking in a deep breath as she looked around the town. Almost a mirror image of Shiganshina. 

It felt like they had been out here for days, when in reality it had only been a few short hours.

"What's taking the citizens so long?" Valeria muttered, glancing at Connie who came to a stop beside her. "Shouldn't they have evacuated by now?"

"Maybe something went wrong?" Connie's eyes widened.

Valeria bit her bottom lip, averting her gaze as she went into thought. "Whatever it is, the Garrison'll have it under control," she stated, looking down at her gas tanks. "Shit, where's the supply team?"

"I... I haven't seen them in awhile, actually," Connie realised.

The two turned back to the HQ, only to realise that Titans were completely surrounding the building. "Holy shit!" Connie's eyes widened.

"Well, I guess that's why they aren't resupplying us with gas," Valeria commented. "Those idiots can't even fight for themselves. None of us can."

"V... Valeria, what are you saying?!" Connie looked back at her.

With a roll of her eyes, Valeria's finger brushed against the trigger of her controller grips. "Whatever, we better catch up with the others before we run out."

Connie stared at Valeria as she left, disappearing in a blur as the leftover gas in her tanks gave her an extra boost. 

Valeria ignored her surroundings as she followed in the direction of her squad, until she found herself coming to a stop yet again, staring down at the house just across the road.

If she remembered correctly, it was Jean's house. Valeria couldn't help but wonder if his mother was alright... they had met once, on a day off that the cadets had spent in Trost. 

She was unexpectedly kind to Valeria when the girl accompanied Jean back home after the cook off. They had dinner together, it was of the more relaxing days in those three years of training.

 _Jean_... Valeria hoped he was alright, too. She wasn't sure how much more loss she could take after this day.


	8. No Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realising they’re trapped in Trost without enough gas to scale Wall Rose, the trainees find themselves in a dire situation.

What remained of the cadets all gathered together on the rooftops of houses that hadn't been crushed by Titan attacks.

Valeria's chin rested on her knees as she stared at the rainy sky in the distance, the hood of her green cloak pulled over the top of her head to keep her dry. 

Thanks to the Titans who were gathered outside the HQ, the supply team had all but abandoned their job to keep the combatants with enough fuel to keep going.

And that led them to where they were now, abandoned in Trost and unable to climb the inner wall to safety after the bell sounded to signal the evacuation was a success.

Valeria felt movement from beside her, causing her to look down from the sky, just as Jean moved to sit with her. 

Though she couldn't help but be surprised by the look on his face. His expressions usually consisted of the lingering frustration that came with being second best to Eren Jaeger, or a smirk that really meant he was about to tease her for something.

But now? Now he seemed just as terrified as the rest of the cadets. 

If the 'tough' Jean couldn't keep up his guard, what hope did Valeria have?

As Jean's eyes flickered to her, she quickly averted her gaze. A frown tugging at her lips. "You know, I thought this battle would end with us climbing that wall to safety," she muttered.

"Survive today, head to the interior tomorrow," Jean told her, though she knew he probably hated repeating anything Eren said. "I better see you there, Valeria."

Valeria bit back the words she wanted to say. How were they supposed to climb that wall with little to no gas left? With the supplies they had now, they'd barely make it across town, let alone up the giant inner gate. 

"Yeah." She settled, knowing that agreeing would be better than bringing up the fear they all had. "That means you gotta make it too."

Jean hummed almost silently, the two knowing that neither of them were really going to make it out of Trost today. "It's all over, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is." Valeria glanced down at hands, when had they started shaking? She didn't notice. Though a lot had happened today, maybe they've been shaking ever since she was pushed off the outer wall. 

She guessed it didn't matter now, they were going to die when they ran out of fuel anyways.

"Hey, Jean! What should we do?" Connie suddenly asked, causing Valeria to look over her shoulder at him.

"There's nothing we can do," Jean answered, his head hanging low. "They finally issued the order to retreat, but without more gas, we can't climb the walls. So we're all going to die... Because of those cowards."

"The supply team... What happened to them?!" Connie breathed out in frustration. "Were they wiped out?"

"They gave up," Valeria said. "Probably ran the first chance they got."

"They're probably too scared to move," Jean commented. "I can see why... But abandoning their mission to resupply us, to hide inside HQ? Unbelievable. And sure enough, the Titans have swarmed them, so we can't go get more gas..."

Valeria let out a sigh. "It's over."

"We have to take a chance, and try to destroy the Titans around HQ!" Connie shouted at them. "We won't be any worse off than sitting here... The Titans will be here before long! And if we keep running, we'll just waste the gas we have. Without use of our Manoeuvre Gear, we really are done for."

"I don't know," Valeria hummed sadly. "We still have our blades... they're good for something other than killing Titans, you know."

Connie's eyes widened in shock as he stared down at her. "What's gotten into you?!" He yelled. "You're just going to sit there and kill yourself when we still have a chance to get out of this? Mina would think you're a _coward_ right now!"

Valeria blinked in surprise, her expression softening as she looked up at him. But it quickly faded as she stood up and grabbed him by his collar, her eyes narrowing at the boy in front of her. "You're calling _me_ a coward?!" She snarled, using her grip on his shirt to shake him slightly. "I've been through this before, Connie! You're the one who used to shake during lessons just _hearing_ about a Titan! Who's the real coward?!"

"Hey, knock it off!" Jean ordered.

Valeria rolled her eyes as she released his collar and turned away. "You think rushing for the HQ is any better? You just want to be called a hero when news gets back to your family about your death," she stated. "But you know just as well as me that this is _over_. It's been over ever since the supply team gave up."

"That- that's _not_ it!" Connie shouted, taking a step forward. "We have to try, Valeria! That's what our friends would've wanted!"

Valeria's hand clenched into a fist, and part of her wanted nothing more than to turn around and throw it. But she couldn't, because deep down, she knew Connie was right. Mina, Eren, Thomas... they wouldn't want them to give up so easily. 

"Connie's right," Jean finally spoke up. "I'm surprised to see you using your head for once." He then looked over at the other cadets. "But do you _really_ think we can do that, given our numbers here? Most of the veterans in the vanguard were killed. Which of us trainees could lead a suicide mission like that?"

"Well, even if someone could, we can't fight Titans," Jean continued. "I bet the gas supply room is chock full of 3 to 4 meter class Titans. Obviously, we can't refuel with them around."

Connie opened his mouth to say something, and Valeria swore she could see about a hundred different emotions reflect on his face. "So we're doomed?" He breathed out.

Jean let out a sigh. "What a stupid life..." he ran his hand through his hair. "If I'd known this would happen, I would've told them..."

Valeria moved to sit down again, staring in the direction of the inner wall. At least Luca was safe, he had been assigned rearguard, they'd be well on their way to safety with the refugees right now.

"This is all shit," she whispered. "If I knew I was going to die today, my last words to my brother would've been better than 'I have to go clean the fixed cannons'." 

If she knew Mina was going to die, Valeria wouldn't have spent their last moments together yelling at the girl. _God_... she was never going to get the chance to make it up to Mina.

"Mikasa!" One of the cadets shouted, causing Valeria's eyes to widen.

When Valeria looked up, she could see Mikasa running for Armin, who had been sitting alone the entire time. There was no doubt about it, Mikasa was about to find out Eren was dead.

Slowly, Valeria stood back up, moving closer in hopes Armin would finally speak. 

Mikasa called out to Armin a few times before he finally lifted his head, tears still streaming down his face. "The members of Trainee Corps team 34... Thomas Wagner, Nack Tias, Milius Zermusky, Mina Karolina... Eren Jaeger! These five died valiantly in the line of duty!"

Valeria _hated_ being right.

"Team 34 was almost wiped out, then?" Another trainee spoke. "If we try to face the Titans, the same will happen to us."

"I'm sorry, Mikasa..." Armin continued to sob. "Eren... He sacrificed himself for me. I- I couldn't do anything! I'm sorry..."

"Armin." Mikasa moved to crouch in front of him. "Calm down. This isn't the time to get emotional. Now, stand up."

After helping Armin back onto his feet, Mikasa turned to face the other trainees. "Marco, if we eliminate the Titans swarming HQ, then we can refuel and climb the walls," she began walking. "Isn't that right?"

"That's right, but..." Marco trailed off. "But even with you here, there are too many-"

"I can do it." Mikasa cut him off. "I am strong! Stronger than you guys!" She raised one of her blades into the air above her head. "Very strong. Therefore, I can defeat those Titans. Even on my own."

Valeria stared at Mikasa in shock, wondering why she'd even dare to attempt a suicide mission like that.

Oh... maybe because it was suicide... she couldn't imagine there was any other reason for it after Mikasa lost Eren.

"You are not only weak, but you are spineless cowards," Mikasa continued. "I am disappointed in you. Just stay here... Stay here and watch."

"Hey, Mikasa! What are you saying?!" A girl shouted.

"You're going to fight all those Titans by yourself?!" Another trainee asked her in disbelief. "There's no way you can do that!"

"If I can't, I'll die." Mikasa answered simply, turning around. "But if I win, I'll live. If I don't fight, I can't win."

With that, Mikasa jumped off the roof, using the manoeuvre gear to head toward HQ.

Valeria chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. "Shit, Mikasa!" She yelled, running toward the edge of the roof as she pulled out her controller grips, firing the grapples that lodged into a nearby building.

Mikasa had managed to reignite the smallest hope Valeria had left within her, even with a speech as non-inspiring as that. 

But Mikasa was right, they wouldn't win if they didn't fight. At least if they fought, they'd still have a chance.

It was better than waiting there like sitting ducks.

From behind her, Valeria could hear the rest of the cadets shouting, though it seemed more like war cries really. 

"Hurry, follow Mikasa!" Jean ordered. "We do this fast. We need to storm HQ before our gas runs out!"

"Mikasa's amazing, though..." Connie breathed out. "How does she move so fast?"

Valeria looked over in the girl's direction, just as Mikasa ran out of gas and began to fall. "Mikasa!" Armin shouted, leaving the group to go after her.

"Armin, wait!" Valeria called out, but it was too late, he was already gone.

"Jean, you take over!" Connie yelled out. "I'll go after Armin!"

"I will, too!" Jean said.

"No! We need to get to the HQ and refuel!" Valeria told him, her voice becoming louder to be heard over the wind. "There's still Titans out here, we need your skills!"

Jean went into thought for a moment, before reluctantly nodding his head. 

Even as Valeria and the other cadets continued on for the HQ, she couldn't help but hope that Connie and Armin could find Mikasa soon. Because even a girl like her would be vulnerable out there without any fuel.

"Keep going!" Jean shouted to the rest of the cadets as he looked over his shoulder. "We don't stop till we get inside and refuel!"

Valeria was glad she had managed to convince Jean to stay, who else would lead them if he left to help the others? Was she supposed to step up and do it?

No, she _couldn't_. Valeria wasn't a leader.

She just wanted to get out of this alive, and the truth was, she'd do just about anything to accomplish that goal.


	9. Cowards Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cadets head for the surrounded HQ, and Valeria comes to realise just how far she’ll go to survive.

The cadets came to a stop across town from the HQ, looking toward the building as they tried to come up with a plan on how to get inside.

"It's hopeless," Jean sighed. "We can't even get close to HQ. Not unless we're willing to risk casualties."

Valeria's eyes flickered between Jean, who stood beside her, and the HQ. "We need to do whatever it takes to get in there," she whispered. "I... I don't want to say it, but a few lives to save the majority? It's what soldiers do, Jean."

Jean glanced at her, a look of frustration in his eyes. She didn't want to be thinking like this either, she hoped he knew that. Valeria wasn't a monster, she was just thinking like any soldier would in their situation.

They signed up under the oath of giving their lives for humanity, it's what they were meant to do. It was their _job_.

Before either of them could speak again, a scream sounded from the streets below. Valeria quickly took a step forward, glancing down at the street, only spotting a cadet who had run out of gas.

Two Titans began running for the boy. "St- Stay back!" Tom shouted, raising his blades.

"Tom, I'm coming for you!" Another cadet yelled as he left to fight off the Titan.

"Stop! It's too late!" Jean yelled, though his words fell on deaf ears.

Another Titan grabbed the man, his grip tightening. Valeria looked away as screams echoed through the cold air.

"We have to go," she told Jean, already reaching for her swords. "Now or never."

Her eyes flickered over to Jean, who was staring down at the Titans with wide eyes as they ripped apart their teammates. "Jean," she spoke again, letting go of her gear to place her hands on his shoulders. "Come on, don't look."

Jean glanced at her, his terrified face managing to break Valeria's guard. "I... I couldn't..."

"No." Valeria shut him down quickly. "Don't think about it, Jean. You tried to stop them, they didn't listen. It's on _them_. And you can think about it later if you really have to, but right now? We _need_ to get to the HQ."

Jean closed his eyes for a second, his grip on his swords tightening as he tried to stop himself from shaking. 

Valeria's eyes drifted down to the cadets being eaten alive. Her mind kept telling her to just try and save the cadets, maybe it wasn't too late for them. But she simply turned her head away once more.

Jean opened his eyes again in realisation. "Now!" He shouted to the others. "We run into HQ right now!"

He then jumped onto the next rooftop, beginning to run for the HQ while the Titans nearby them were distracted.

Valeria stared at his back for a second, before running after him, ignoring the stray tear falling from her eyes as the screams of the two cadets went silent.

This wasn't right, she knew that. But it was the only way. It was _them_ , or it was _everyone_. 

No... those cadets were already dead the moment they leaped off that rooftop. 

Her convincing Jean to get the others moving had nothing to do with it.

And yet, she felt like it was her fault they had been left behind to die.

Valeria's eyes widened as the boy next to her was plucked out of the air by a Titan, though she forced herself to ignore his screams as she continued forward.

The HQ was right there, just a little further and she'd make it.

Bracing herself for impact, Valeria brought her arms up to cover her face, before kicking through the glass window and rolling into the office.

Valeria hit the ground with a thud, but the pain was the last thing on her mind as she quickly pushed herself up to her knees.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips when she realised just how many people had made it into the HQ. Sure, it wasn't everybody, but it was enough.

"Aren't you guys with the supply team?" Jean spoke up quietly, causing Valeria to turn toward him.

Sure enough, two cadets were hiding beneath one of the desks.

"Yeah..." the boy answered, only for Jean to grab him by his collar. Before anyone knew what was happening, Jean had punched the boy in his face, causing him to fall back to the floor with a groan.

"Stop it, Jean!" Marco ran over, holding him back to prevent him from attacking again.

Valeria just stood there, glaring down at the cadets. The lives that had been lost out there, they weren't on Valeria's hands, no... Sure, she had been the one to abandon them. But the supply team had done it first. 

If they continued doing their job, none of it would've happened.

"They're the ones who abandoned us!" Jean yelled, trying to break away from Marco. "Because of you, more died than was necessary!"

The girl crawled out from under the table, sitting protectively beside the boy who had knocked unconscious by Jean's punch. "Titans came into the supply area... We couldn't do anything!" 

"Doing something is your _job_!" Jean shouted angrily.

Valeria's eyes widened as a loud growl echoed through the area. "Get down!" Reiner shouted.

Valeria found herself hitting the ground quickly as a Titan's face broke through the wall on the other side of the room.

Everyone began screaming as they ran out of the room, headed for a safer one.

Valeria stayed frozen still on the side of the room, until she saw the Titan reaching into the room, its hand headed straight for Jean who had fallen to his knees.

Her eyes widened, and before she could stop herself, she was running for Jean, her body slamming into his as she pushed him out of the way. 

Expecting to be grabbed by the Titan, Valeria was surprised when nothing came, only a loud thump from outside.

Jean gasped from beneath her, staring up at the girl above him in shock, until his eyes drifted to the hole in the wall. Sitting back on her calves, Valeria watched the commotion happening outside. 

A Titan... fighting other Titans.

Crawling away from Jean and closer to the side of the building, Valeria let out a shaky breath. "What the hell..."

"What... what is that?" Jean gasped, unable to tear his eyes away even as he pushed himself up off the ground where he laid just a few seconds prior.

Until the sound of glass shattering brought them back to reality. 

Valeria looked towards the windows as Mikasa, Connie and Armin came tumbling inside. "Mikasa!" Her eyes widened. "You're alive!"

"That was close... I'm all out," Connie commented as he checked his gas canister. "But we did it! We just barely made it!"

"You did it, Armin!" He began patting the other boy's back. "Everyone! That Titan is an Aberrant that kills other Titans! And it isn't interested in us... If we can use it, we can escape!"

Carefully, Valeria moved to stand up. "No way," she whispered. She knew Aberrants were beyond humanity's understanding of Titans, but one that kills other Titans? It seemed impossible.

“A Titan helping us?" Jean asked. "That sounds like a dream-"

"It isn't a dream," Mikasa stated. "I don't care if it's an Aberrant or what... We need it to stay here, and to keep fighting. That is our most realistic chance for survival."

Letting out a deep breath, Valeria pushed back the stray pieces of hair that had fallen from her ponytail and begun to stick to forehead with sweat. "Then... let's get to the fuel and get out of here."


	10. The Risky Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reaching the HQ, Armin comes up with a plan to take on the Titans in the basement. Valeria struggles internally with what’s right and what’s wrong.

"Valeria..."

The girl turned around at the sound of her name, her expression softening just the slightest when she realised it was just Jean. "I think the rifles are back here somewhere," she stated. "Come help me look."

With a nod, Jean followed behind her. "Uh... thanks for saving me back there," he muttered. "You- you shouldn't have risked your life like that."

Valeria blinked in surprise. Was he talking about when she pushed him out of the way? Yeah, it'd have to be then. She couldn't remember saving him any other time.

"It was nothing," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "I would've done it for anyone."

"But you shouldn't!" Jean told her, reaching to grab her arm so she'd look at him. "You... you could've died, too!"

"Those cadets we left behind, they'd probably thank the Titans for doing it," Valeria wished. "Killing me, I mean. We could've saved them, but I told you not to. Why... why don't I feel bad about it? Aren't I supposed to feel something?"

Jean stared at Valeria in surprise for a moment as she lowered her guard, the girl staring blankly at the floor, until she tore her arm out of his grip and began walking again. "Found them," Valeria spoke, pointing toward the Military Police equipment like nothing had just happened. "We should take these back to the others."

"Ye- Yeah," Jean muttered. "But Valeria, what happened wasn't your fault. They ran out of gas, there's nothing we could've done."

Honestly, Jean thought she already knew that. Especially since she had been the one saying they needed to take the chance and go, that this was a soldiers job, that a few lives meant nothing compared to the majority.

Clearly his impression of Valeria was wrong. She wasn't cold before, she was just scared. Like the rest of them. But instead of processing it at the time, she had pushed it all down. 

Now that things are starting to look up, her fear was coming back, too.

Valeria ignored Jean's reassurance as she left the room, taking the rifles back to the rest of the group. 

"We found it!" Jean announced once they got back to the main room. "This is the Military Police stuff... It was covered in dust."

They all got to work unpacking the weapons and coming up with a plan of attack. "Are scatter shots really enough?" Jean asked as he loaded the rifle. "Will these rifles actually be of any use against the Titans?"

"I think they're a lot better than nothing," Armin stated. "If there are still only eight 3 to 4 meter class Titans in the supply room, even this may be enough firepower to blind them all at once."

"First, we'll use the lift to lower a large number of people through the central ceiling. They'll fire in the faces of the seven Titans in unison to blind them. And then, the next instant will be critical."

"The eight of you hidden among the ceiling beams will strike the blinded Titans in a coordinated ambush," Armin continued. "In other words, in this plan, all of our lives will depend on this one strike. The eight must kill eight Titans at the same time, with a single strike."

"Great," Valeria breathed out. "No pressure at all, Armin."

"The eight will be those of us whose skills give us the best chance, but... I'm sorry to make them bear the weight of everyone's lives," Armin whispered. 

"It's alright," Reiner smiled reassuringly. 

"Regardless of who goes, everyone dies if we fail," Annie said. "The risk is the same."

"But is the plan I conceived really the best one?" Armin questioned.

"It's our only option," Marco told him. "There's no time, and this is the best plan we'll have. We just have to give all we've got!"

"It's fine," Mikasa glanced at Armin. "Have confidence in yourself. You have the ability to find the right solution. That ability has saved both Eren and me."

"When was this?" Armin looked at her in confusion.

"The lift's ready!" A cadet shouted. "The guns, too! They're all loaded!"

"You just don't realise it," Mikasa told Armin. "We'll talk later."

With a sigh, Valeria stood up, stretching her arms above her head before moving to get into position. All that training they did over the last three years, hopefully it would come in handy. 

Valeria had only killed one Titan outside, the veteran members of the Garrison took on most of the others. But this was just the trainees, and Valeria was one of the eight picked to take on the Titans with a single strike.

She didn't really know how to feel about that, she didn't even know if she could do it. Armin had too much faith in her abilities. 

Valeria followed the others down the stairs, holding her swords tightly in her hands. "But can we kill Titans without manoeuvre gear?" Connie asked suddenly.

"Sure, we can," Reiner nodded. "They're 3 to 4 meter class Titans. The target will be easy to hit."

"Yeah, no matter what the size, the target is always that one spot on the neck," Jean stated. 

"One meter long, ten centimetres wide!" Sasha reminded them.

"Or we can shove this up their ass," Reiner raised his sword, causing Valeria to let out a laugh. "These are their only two weak spots."

"I didn't know that! We can do that?" Connie's eyes widened.

"I don't think it works like that, Reiner," Valeria chimed in. 

"I'm just finding out now, too," Sasha whispered, going into thought.

"Reiner," Jean called back to him. "Those may well end up being your last words."

"Pretty epic last words if you ask me," Valeria smiled slightly, her eyes flickering to Jean, who was staring right back at her. At least until they made eye contact, and he was quickly turning away again. "I mean, go out sounding like a badass. It's better than sounding like a coward."

Reiner nodded his head from beside her as they continued to descend down the staircase.

Once arriving closer to the storage room, the eight carefully got into place, hiding up on the ceiling beams while they waited for Armin and the others to come down.

Valeria stared down at the Titans roaming around mindlessly below, though as one began to walk closer and closer to her hiding place, she found herself shakily raising her swords. 

"Valeria, wait!" Jean hissed quietly from the next beam over, causing her head to snap in his direction.

She nodded her head slowly, taking a deep breath as she looked in the direction of the lift. What was Armin thinking choosing her to do this? What did the Military think naming her one of the top 10? 

There were better people amongst the trainees, like Christa, Valeria doubted Christa would sacrifice her teammates like that without so much as a second thought.

Or even Ymir, Ymir was definitely more strong-willed than her.

Why was Valeria here? What was she doing? What were any of them doing thinking they could win against Titans?

The lift finally came into view, and the trainees held up their rifles, waiting for the Titans to be drawn in closer.

Valeria pushed herself up, her swords pressed down against the metal beam as she kept her eyes trained on one of the Titans. One strike... they only had one strike. If she failed, this whole operation was over. 

If she failed, then the trainees were never climbing the inner wall to safety. 

Once the Titans were directly in front of the lift, the trainees inside began to shoot. Almost immediately blinding the Titans.

Using her position to push herself forward, Valeria took off running across the beam before dropping directly behind one of the Titan. As she fell, her swords dug into the Titan's nape, slicing the skin and causing the giant to hit the ground.

Valeria tumbled slightly as she hit the ground herself, though she quickly caught her balance. 

The Titans began to fall one by one, signalling the eight's victory. But before they could celebrate, Valeria's eyes fell onto Sasha and Connie, both of who had missed their target.

"Sasha! Connie!" Bertholdt shouted as the two Titans began stalking towards their friends.

"Hurry and help them!" Jean ordered.

Valeria stood there frozen, her hands lowering to her sides as she stared in shock. How had they missed? It was a perfect shot, why did they miss their targets?

"I'm... so sorry!" Sasha's scream snapped Valeria out of her thoughts. The girl quickly dove to the side as the Titan jumped at the spot she was previously standing.

But before it could move to attack Sasha again, Mikasa was running over, slicing its nape while it was still on the ground.

Annie took care of the other one, saving Connie who had been pushed back into a corner.

Realising it was over, Valeria dropped her blades and ran toward Sasha. "Shit! Are you okay?" She questioned, helping the girl back onto her feet. 

Why did she keep freezing when people she cared about were in danger? Why did Valeria keep doing that to herself? They all had a part to play in this, why couldn't she just be brave like the others?

Tears began to stream down Sasha's face as she quickly hugged Valeria, causing the girl to freeze up again. "Why... are you hugging me?" She whispered in surprise.

It's not like she had done anything to save Sasha, she just stood there and watched her friend almost get devoured.

Valeria didn't hear Sasha's answer to her question, only listening back in as Sasha jumped over to Mikasa. "Mikasa! You saved me!" She cried out.

"Are you injured?" Mikasa asked.

"No, thanks to you," Sasha shook her head.

"Then stand."

"We got them all!" Jean shouted up to the other trainees who were still waiting in the lift. "Begin the resupply."

"We did it!"

* * *

They all quickly got to work, wanting to resupply and get out of there as soon as possible.

"Armin..." Valeria spoke up, glancing at the boy who sat beside her as they refuelled their gas canisters. "Do you- do you think I'm a good person?"

Armin's eyes flickered to her in confusion. "Of course," he answered without hesitation. "W- why?"

Valeria looked back down at the gas canister in her hands. "Sasha and Connie were in danger, and I just stood there," she muttered. "Just like I did when Tom and the others were caught outside, I told Jean to leave them behind. I told myself it's what soldiers do, because we needed to get here, but..."

"You're one of the best people I know," Armin cut her off. "You... you might have done that out there, but I'm sure it was for everyone's safety. And I don't blame you, none of us do."

Valeria blinked in surprise. "Armin-"

He stared back at her with a smile on his face, the calming one he always managed to have. Even after getting beaten up when they were children. "Besides, bad people don't jump in front of others and risk their lives," he added. "But you did it for Jean. If you were truly bad, you wouldn't have done that."

Valeria's eyes flickered over to Jean, who sat a little further away in the middle of a conversation with Marco. "You saw that?" She asked Armin, who nodded even though she wasn't looking.

"I... I couldn't do that," he whispered, his grip tightening on the canister as he stared down at it harshly, remembering the events that lead to Eren's squad dying. "Eren could. _You_ can. And I think that's what makes you a good person, Val. You can't blame yourself for the moments where you're scared."

Valeria smiled sadly, turning back to Armin. "You either, Armin. What happened to your squad, to Mina and the others... you can't blame yourself."


	11. Devour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Escaping Trost, Valeria makes up her mind on which branch of the Military she’ll be joining.

Valeria stepped out of the building, her eyes flickering up to the sky above. It was sunny again... maybe it meant things were looking up for the trainees.

"Hey!" Reiner's voice snapped the girl out of her thoughts. "You can't stand around here forever. It isn't safe."

"R- right!" Valeria nodded, carefully following the group up onto the roof top. The others were already headed for the wall, but a small group remained after seeing Mikasa alone on the roof.

Valeria didn't know what she expected to see on the other side of the building... but it wasn't this...

"Cannibalism," Mikasa told Armin, the two staring down at the Titan who had saved them as it was eaten alive by other Titans.

"Can it not regenerate its body?" Armin's eyes widened.

Valeria crossed her arms, staring at the Titans in shock. Everything that was happening seemed to contradict all they knew about the Titans. 

Before now they never paid attention to anything but humans. So why were they eating another Titan?

"I thought that if we could solve the mystery of that Titan, it may give us a way to overcome our bleak predicament..." Mikasa trailed off.

"I agree," Reiner spoke. Alerting the two to the group's presence. "If it gets eaten, we won't learn anything. Let's try to keep it alive by killing the ones clinging to it."

Valeria's eyes widened. "What if it turns around and attacks us instead?"

"It won't!" Armin defended the Titan. "It hasn't paid attention to us at all this entire time. Even when Mikasa, Connie and I tried to draw it here."

"Are you insane?!" Jean shouted. "We can finally get out of here!"

"What if it might be able to help us?" Annie asked. "Might it not prove a greater weapon than any cannon?"

Swallowing the lump forming in the back of her throat, Valeria reluctantly nodded her head. "I don't like it, but they're right," she sighed. "This Titan could help us."

" _Help us?_ " Jean's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

Armin suddenly let out a gasp from behind them, though when Valeria turned around, she noticed the boy staring at a Titan that was approaching. "That's... that's the aberrant that ate Thomas!"

The attack Titan began to push forward, breaking away from the others that were chewing at its skin. With it's arms now ripped off thanks to the 3 to 4 meter class Titans, the new Titan resorted to biting the aberrant's nape, lifting it up and throwing it back at the others. Knocking them all over.

Valeria stared in shock. "What the hell is this thing?!" She gasped. 

The Titan dropped the aberrant from its mouth, before letting out a ferocious growl. 

"Come on..." Jean whispered. "It doesn't need help."

Just as Jean said that, the Titan fell to the ground. "I guess it's finally exhausted itself," he commented. "That's enough... we're leaving."

Valeria wanted to follow Jean, she wanted to get out of Trost and go to safety. But for some reason, she couldn't take her eyes off the Titan.

"Valeria," Jean spoke again, reaching out to touch the girl's shoulder to get her attention. "That thing can't possibly help us. A Titan is still a Titan."

The Titan's neck opened up with a burst of steam, revealing a small figure that had Valeria grabbing Jean by his jacket and pulling him forward. "Look..." she whispered, unable to say much else in her shock.

The figure began to move, ripping itself out of the Titan's neck, before he fell back, revealing his face to the group that stood on the rooftop.

Recognising Eren immediately, Mikasa fired her manoeuvre gear and headed down to help the boy.

"Mikasa!" Armin shouted, reaching out to stop her.

"There's no way..." Valeria muttered, barely noticing how she was still holding onto Jean's jacket.

"That bastard," Jean whispered under his breath. "He's still alive."

Though taken out of context, his words could sound like a wish for Eren to still be dead. Valeria knew what he really meant. This was a shock to them all... how did Eren survive after what Armin saw?

And how was he a Titan?

* * *

Valeria sat down on one of the benches in the reinforcement camp that had been set up, her eyes focused on Jean who was pacing back and forth in front of her. She didn't know what she expected to happen when they got back, maybe part of her half expected to see Mina waiting for her... how stupid was that.

The last time Valeria saw Mina, she yelled at her. And then Mina died. She didn't even get to say goodbye, what if Mina was mad at her when she died?

"Can you stop?" She spoke, letting out a sigh as she rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "This is stressful enough without watching you go back and forth every 5 seconds, Jean."

"No one asked you to watch!"

Valeria's expression faltered for a moment. "Fine." Kicking her legs out, she jumped off the table. "I'll leave you to your... whatever this is. I should go find something to do anyways."

"W... wait!" Jean quickly stopped her, though he refused to look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry."

Valeria stared at him in silence for a moment. "We're all confused, Jean," she stated in a whisper, not wanting others to overhear. "But we can't make it look like we know anything that we're not supposed to."

After carrying Eren over the wall, they had been stopped by the Garrison. While Mikasa and Armin stayed behind, refusing to hand Eren over to the military, the others were sent to the camp with a gag order.

Even if they could make sense of the situation — which seemed utterly impossible at this point — they weren't allowed to talk about it.

With a groan, Jean moved to sit at the table, causing Valeria to follow after him.

In the silence, Valeria's thoughts drifted away from Eren and whatever he was, and to what she was. Or what she wanted to be.

After everything she had just seen, the cadets she watched die while she remained frozen...

Tom and the others, they planned to join the Survey Corps after Eren's speech. She felt like she owed them something, _everything_.

"I'm joining the Survey Corps." Valeria's words were just as much a surprise to her, as they were to Jean, who was now staring at her like she was crazy.

Maybe she was crazy. She knew what happened when you went beyond the walls, she saw as her mother ventured outside and never returned. She saw the Titans tear her father apart. And she still wanted to join the Scouts.

"What?! What about the Military Police? A safe life inside the walls?" Jean questioned. "Survive today and head to the interior tomorrow, remember?"

Though Valeria knew her reasons for changing her mind — reasons which varied from owing their fallen comrades, to avenging her friends, to knowing that she didn't deserve to have a safe, comfortable life within the walls — she didn't tell him. 

He'd say she was wrong, that she did deserve a safe life in the interior, that she didn't owe anyone anything. But he was the one who would be wrong.

Then her thoughts drifted back to Mina, and how scared the girl must've been when she was caught by the Titans. "I'm going to kill them," she whispered under her breath, her hands clenching into fists. "I'm going to avenge our friends"

Jean stayed silent, retreating back in his thoughts until Ymir shouted in their direction. "Jean, don't tell me Mikasa was injured."

"Hey, what's wrong?" Connie asked, realising something was up just by the expressions on their faces.

Jean simply ignored Connie, choosing to raise his water to his lips instead. With a sigh, Valeria plastered a smile on her face and turned to look at the other group. "Mikasa's fine! She was just needed for something by the Garrison, that's all."

Connie stared at Valeria, not believing her story for even a second. Especially since her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, and after these years of training, it was pretty easy to tell when her smile wasn't genuine.

"We've been ordered to keep it a secret," Jean stated. "We can't discuss it."

"Keep it a secret?" Connie questioned. 

Ymir's brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"Of course, it won't stay secret for long..." Jean trailed off quietly. "Before long, all humanity will know about it."

And then quietly, under his breath, he added: "assuming humanity lasts that long..."

Valeria's head snapped in his direction, hearing his words due to their close proximity. Was he trying to go against the gag order? And did he seriously believe Eren was capable of destroying all of humanity?

No, the question was... did Valeria think a Titan would ever try to _save_ humanity? Even if it wore the face of a boy she had grown up with, it was still a Titan.

And the Titans had to be killed.


	12. The Response

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though they made it back to the reinforcements safely, Valeria finds herself questioning her goals and where she plans to go now.

"My friends were eaten right in front of me!" Daz shouted, his voice echoing throughout the area. "I saw them devoured, and I didn't even feel sad or angry... all I could think was "I'm so glad it wasn't me!" But... next time, it will be me..."

Valeria kept her head down as she listened to Daz. Maybe that's what made her different, made her a better person.

She _did_ feel bad about leaving Tom and the others behind, she didn't before but she did now that she actually had time to think about it... and she did feel angry that Mina was killed.

She wanted to get back at the Titans, she wanted to kill all of them before she could lose anyone else.

That's why she had to join the Survey Corps rather than the Military Police. The truth was, Valeria would never have a comfortable life behind the walls. There was always a risk of an attack, a risk that one day, the events of Shiganshina would repeat till humanity no longer existed.

And Valeria had to stop that.

She had to stop it for herself, for humanity... for the people she cared about who did deserve a life behind the walls if it was what they wanted.

Slowly, Valeria glanced over at Jean. He had been nothing but arrogant when they first met; always picking fights with Eren and challenging her in training. But he deserved to be safe behind the walls if that's what he wanted, and what she wanted, was to make sure he got to do that.

Valeria was snapped out of her thoughts as Daz started screaming at Marco, and Jean finally spoke up from beside her. "I guess that gag order was necessary," he muttered. "Just look at them now. If they learn about Eren..."

"If they learn about Eren, it's all over," Valeria finished his sentence.

"Yeah-"

Jean was cut off by a loud bang, coming from near the gate. Valeria's eyes widened in fear as she quickly jumped off the table and ran out into the street, trying to get a better look as the reinforcements were sent into panic.

"A cannon shot?" Reiner asked, following behind Valeria.

"Why only one?" Jean questioned.

"Look! Smoke!" A Garrison soldier shouted, pointing to the smoke that was coming from inside the gate. "From inside the wall!"

"Why... why was the cannon shot inside the walls?" Valeria breathed out in fear. Then she remembered that Eren, Mikasa and Armin had been left at the gate. What if... no. It couldn't be.

"What's going on? Did they break through the floodgate?" A cadet cried out.

"No way! That's the strongest part!"

"Someone just screwed up and dropped a shell."

"But why is there so much smoke?"

"It can't be... a Titan's steam?!" Jean continued to stare up at the smoke.

"Inside the walls?" Valeria looked over at him. "No..."

Without a word, Reiner shot out the grapple hooks of his manoeuvre gear, headed up to get a better look at what happened. Annie and Bertholdt immediately followed after him.

"Shit, shit, shit..." Valeria reached for her controller grips, before following after the group. As she raced across the rooftops, moving from building to building, she couldn't help but hope Eren and the others weren't involved.

She knew that Eren was connected to that Aberrant, but he was still Eren, he was still the boy she had seen running around Shiganshina picking fights he couldn't win when they were children... right?

Valeria skidded to a stop as a large upper half of a Titan came into view, its hand sticking out to the right as if it were blocking something off.

"What is going on here?" Reiner whispered under his breath.

The Titan was dead, that much was obvious. It's skin was already evaporating, adding to the large amount of smoke already existing from the cannon shot.

"There's... there's no way that's Eren," Valeria muttered.

She didn't care what she saw back in Trost. People turning into Titans? It just wasn't possible. There's no way the Military wouldn't know about it if it were possible.

"It's alive!" Bertholdt pointed out as the Titan moved its head slightly.

From down below, Valeria could hear the Garrison going into a panic. Though Valeria guessed they were waiting for Eren and the others to make the first move.

How was she supposed to kill Titans and avenge her fallen friends if humans were also Titans? How could humans even be Titans anyways? It wasn't making sense.

In a single day, Eren had managed to flip their entire world upside down. Changing the fundamental facts that so many soldiers had given their lives to find.

Had they died for nothing?

Suddenly Armin came running out from behind the smoke, his hands raised in the air as a sign of surrender. 

"You've finally shown your true self, monster!" The Captain shouted. "I'll do it! I'll give the signal!"

"He is not an enemy of humanity!" Armin yelled. "We are prepared to share all the information we have!"

"I'm not interested in hearing you plead for your lives! How can I believe you, when he's shown us all what he really is?" The Captain shook his fist in Armin's direction. "If you say he's not an enemy, then prove it! If you can't, I'll be forced to eliminate the threat!"

Eliminate the threat... but he wouldn't just be killing Eren, he'd be killing Armin and Mikasa, too. How was that fair?

"There is no need for proof!" Armin shouted. "The question isn't what we think of him! I'm told that many of you saw him! Then you saw him fighting the Titans! And you saw the Titans swarm him! That means the Titans considered him food, the same way they think of us!"

"That is the truth, no matter what we may think or believe!" Armin continued.

A Titan as an ally... would that even work? How were they supposed to know for sure that Eren wouldn't turn around and attack them one day?

"Prepare to attack!" The Captain shouted, raising his hand for the signal. "Don't be fooled by their clever lies!"

Barely noticing what she was doing, Valeria's shaky hand reached over to Jean, softly holding his own. Not a single word uttered between the two — even when his hand squeezed hers — as they kept their wide eyes focused on the events unfolding below them.

They were about to _kill_ Eren, Mikasa and Armin...

"The Titans actions have always been beyond our understanding!" The Captain stated. "It's possible they could pretend to be human, speak human languages and try to deceive us! We can't let them get away with anything else!"

All of the soldiers immediately raised their weapons, clearly persuaded more by the captain's panicked thoughts rather than Armin's detailed speech.

Before they could attack, Armin quickly slammed his right hand against the left side of his chest. "I am a soldier!" He shouted. "I swore long ago to dedicate my life to the revival of humanity! If that pursuit were to cost me my life, I would be glad! If we use his powers and the forces we still have, we could take back this town!"

Valeria felt Jean's grip on her hand tighten slightly as they listened to Armin. "With my final breath before my death, I shall wish for humanity's glory, and try to persuade you of his strategic value!"

Valeria's eyes widened as the Captain began to raise his arm, about to give the signal to fire, until someone stepped forward and grabbed ahold of his arm, preventing him from doing so.

"Enough. As big as you are, you've always been as delicate as a newborn fawn." The man stated. "Do you not see his splendid salute? I've just arrived, but messengers have kept me abreast of the situation. You go command the reinforcements. I think we should listen to them..."

Armin fell to his knees in relief. The shock of the situation finally leaving her body, Valeria finally realised she was holding Jean's hand, causing the girl to quickly let go as she turned away.

"We should get back to the reinforcements," she told the group, her eyes flickering toward Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner.


	13. A Plan of Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commander Pixis reveals his plan to the soldiers, causing a panic as Valeria remembers the culling disguised as a mission to retake Wall Maria.

"A plan to retake Trost?" Valeria could hear someone speak up, still in complete shock at the idea of the Military sending their soldiers to retake the town full of Titans.

"You're kidding... We have no way to seal that hole. What is the brass thinking? Going into Trost would be our deaths!"

"Since we can't seal the hole, all we can do is die defending Wall Rose's gate."

"Damnit... they want glory that much?"

This wasn't about glory, Valeria knew that. If they could retake Trost and seal the hole, it means they wouldn't lose Wall Rose. They wouldn't have a repeat of what happened 5 years ago to Wall Maria.

"I have to... return to that hell?" Daz whispered under his breath, his eyes filled with terror. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, he began to scream. "No! I don't want to die! Let me see my family!"

"Hey, Daz, you're being too loud!" Marco's eyes widened.

"You there! I heard you!" A Garrison soldier turned around to look at Daz. "Are you saying you want to abandon your mission?"

"That's right!" Daz cried out. "This is nothing but mass suicide! It's meaningless!"

The soldier began to reach for his blades. "Have you no respect for humanity? For order? If I chose to, I could execute you this minute."

"Go ahead," Daz unsheathed his own blades. "It's a hundred times better than being eaten by Titans!"

Marco quickly stepped forward, his hands reaching for the man's shoulders. "Stop it, Daz!"

"No! Let me go! I won't go back there!" 

From where Valeria stood, much further into the crowd, she could hear Daz's screaming get louder and louder, sending many others into a quiet panic as well.

"Is... is that Daz?" She asked, her eyes flickering between Jean and Bertholdt, who nodded his head as he looked around.

"Given the circumstances, I don't blame him..." Someone whispered.

"Hey..." One of the girls in front of Valeria spoke up. "I hope someone rebels over here, too."

"I'd at least like to choose how I die."

Valeria's eyes widened. Were they really thinking of abandoning their mission? A mission they signed up for? Did these people really think that they'd be able to live inside the walls forever, that one day, Wall Rose and Sina wouldn't fall too?

Maybe they did... Valeria hoped for the same just a few days ago. She hoped to head to Wall Sina and live out her days safely.

She hoped what happened to her home would never repeat itself, but it had. Trost was taken over by the Titans. If they didn't stop it now, if they didn't seal the gate, then there was no doubt that the armoured Titan would return to finish the job.

They needed to get out there and stop that from happening.

"Do it..." A man told the girls. "Be loud... and get others to go along! In the Garrison, plenty of us aren't happy, either. We'll take advantage of the chaos and leave!"

Valeria's hands clenched into fists as she kept facing forward, biting back the words she wanted to tell the group in front of her.

"Leave and go where?" Jean glanced at them, speaking up almost as if he could Valeria's mind.

"To see my daughter," the man answered, causing Valeria's hardened expression to soften slightly. "Eventually, this wall will also fall."

"That's why you have to go out there and fight!" Valeria told him, finally moving to look at the man. "If we can seal the outer gate, we can save Wall Rose from the armoured Titan. Do it for your daughter, so she won't have to see what's out there!"

The man stared at Valeria with wide eyes, and an expression that most resembled shock. Shocked that Valeria would speak up to a superior maybe, or shocked that she'd talk about his daughter like she had any idea what torment he was going through.

Either way, he never got the chance to say anything, as Commander Pixis addressed the crowd from atop Wall Rose. "Attention!" He shouted, immediately silencing the panicked crowd.

"I shall now explain the plan to retake Trost!" He announced. "For this mission, our objective is to seal the hole where the gate was destroyed. Let me introduce you to the one who will seal the hole for us..."

"From the Trainee Corps, Eren Jaeger!" Pixis motioned toward the boy who stepped forward beside him.

Valeria's eyes widened once more. They were using Eren? So it was true, Commander Pixis planned to trust the Titan. Even though they weren't sure they could trust Eren not to hurt anybody?

"He is the result of a top secret project to turn humans into Titans!" Commander Pixis continued. "He can create and control a Titan's body. He will become a Titan, pick up the giant Boulder by the shattered gate, carry it over, and seal the hole."

Reiner, who stood behind them, suddenly stepped forward to place his hand on Bertholdt's shoulder. The two boys sharing a look. They're probably planning to take off with the other deserters, Valeria thought.

"Your job will be to protect him from Titans while he moves the Boulder!" Commander Pixis stated.

"You're lying!" Daz shouted. "I won't put my life on the line for a plan I can't even understand! What do you think we are? We aren't... we aren't pawns for you to sacrifice!"

"He's telling us to die here today!" The man in front of Valeria realised. "I'm leaving."

He suddenly turned around and began to walk off, causing Valeria to glare at his back. Though him abandoning the mission caused the two girls beside him to quickly follow too.

In fact, a bunch of people were leaving. "Cowards," Valeria scoffed, turning back to face forward. "They're all cowards."

"You... you're ready to give your life for this?" Bertholdt asked her quietly, his voice sounding as panicky as usual though his eyes remained unwavering as he stared down at her. "We don't even know if it'll work."

"We can't afford to lose Wall Rose, Bertholdt," Valeria pointed out. "You're from Wall Maria too, you saw what happened back then. We have to stop it. So yes, I'm willing to give my life for this cause."

"We'll be right by your side, Valeria," Reiner spoke up, sending a reassuring smile her way. "Right, Bertholdt?"

Bertholdt, who had been staring at Reiner in confusion, nodded his slowly. "R... right."

"Ready to die, traitors?!" One of the commanders shouted, pulling out his blades. "I'll kill you right now!"

Looking around, Valeria watched as the deserters began running, determined to escape before they were executed on the spot. 

It was all going to chaos so quickly.

"Here is my decision!" Commander Pixis yelled, his voice loud and clear, unwavering as he addressed the terrified crowd below. "I shall pardon anyone who deserts now! Once you succumb to the Titan's fear, you can never fight them again."

"Those who have learned that fear should leave. And anyone wishing their parents, siblings, and loved ones to feel that fear should also leave!" Pixis added.

Majority of the crowd stopped what they were doing, taking Commander Pixis's words into consideration. Slowly, they all turned around and rejoined the crowd of soldiers.

"Let me tell you what happened four years ago," Commander Pixis began to speak again. "About our attempt to retake Wall Maria. As I'm sure you're all aware, the operation was no more than the government's way of dealing with its inability to feed all of the unemployed. It was a culling."

From the corner of his eye, Jean saw Valeria visibly stiffen at the mention of the attempt to retake Wall Maria. Though for someone so willing to do the same thing today, he just didn't understand why.

Valeria swallowed the lump forming on the back of her throat as she remembered the last time she had ever spoken to her mother, just a few days before word got back to them about the mission's failure. It had all gone past in a blur in the actual moment, but now it was as clear as day.

She always looked up to her mother, knowing how strong she must've been to leave her family behind for a mission as dangerous as leaving the walls, knowing how brave she was to take lead of the mission to reclaim Wall Maria despite also knowing it was a culling.

Maybe it was fitting for Valeria to go out the same way she did, attempting to reclaim their land from the Titans that had turned them to cattle a century ago.

No. It'd be different this time, because they had Eren.

"The reason no one speaks of it is because by sending them outside these cramped walls, we were able to survive within them," Commander Pixis explained. "All of humanity, including myself, bears the weight of that sin!"

"Because so few escaped Wall Maria, there was never any open rebellion. But what about now?" He called out. "If Wall Rose falls, the sacrifice will be more than just twenty percent. The territory within Wall Sina won't support even half the remaining population. If humanity falls, it won't be because we were devoured by the Titans. It will be because we killed each other."

"I beg of you, to die right here!"


	14. The Battle of Trost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the news of Eren’s power now revealed, the soldiers are thrown back into Trost.

This plan had to work.

A small team was to escort Eren to the Boulder while the others remained in a corner on the opposite side — or in the city — their job was to lure the Titans away from the hole and to them instead.

From the looks of the situation near the inner wall, it seemed to be working. But as Valeria tore her eyes away from the wall, and out to the city of Trost, she realised they still had a long way to go before this was over.

A single smoke flare was shot up into the sky, drawing Valeria's attention away from the Titans still entering Trost.

 _Green_. It meant the elite force were beginning the mission.

A flash of bright light lit up the town for a moment, and in its spot, stood Eren's titan form. The same Titan that had saved them from the Titans at HQ.

"Let's go!" Yelled out Valeria's squad leader, though he was already on the move.

Valeria glanced at Annie, who remained frozen in spot, her wide eyes trained on Eren. "Annie! Come on!" Valeria called out, trying to break the girl out of her thoughts. "We don't have time for this!"

Without a word, Annie moved past Valeria to follow after their team. Leaving the girl to wonder why Annie was showing more interest in Eren than she ever had before.

Annie didn't even look scared of him like the others were, it was odd.

* * *

The voice of her captain became muffled as Valeria manoeuvred from building, the wind brushing by causing her braid to whip back and forth behind her until she came to a stop.

Staring up at the new smoke round in fear. _Red_. Red means the mission failed.

"Luca," she whispered under her breath, suddenly fearing Eren might've done something to the elite team. To her brother.

Valeria took a step forward, prepared to head for the elite team and find out what was happening, until someone suddenly pulled her back.

"Stay focused," Annie told her, her voice remaining as emotionless as the day they met. "We have a mission, remember?"

"But something could've happened!" Valeria tried to wiggle her arm out of Annie's grip. "I need to go see."

"Weiss!" The Captain called out from the rooftop across from them. "You're part of a team now!"

Valeria's eyes flickered to the soldier, before she let out a sigh. He was right. She couldn't put them in danger for her own curiosity.

The last time she did that...

"Retreat to the wall!" He called out to the team. "Now!"

Without any further argument, Valeria headed back for the wall, avoiding any unnecessary combat like Commander Pixis had ordered before they left.

Though as soon as she landed back atop the wall, she could hear everyone panicking over the failed mission.

"What happened to Eren?" Jean asked as they joined Marco and Connie.

"Armin's headed there by himself," Marco explained. "He's probably alright."

"You let Armin go by himself?" Valeria questioned. "We don't even know what's happening!"

"We couldn't stop him even if we tried!" Connie pointed out.

"Probably?" Jean looked at Marco.

"He's fine," Marco corrected himself. "I'm sure of it. Eren can do this."

"I think luring the Titans to the town's edge is useless," Connie sighed.

"Any fight with Titans is a war of attrition," Jean told him. "At this stage, they want to avoid the needless loss of troops."

"It's a bit too late for that, though," Valeria commented. "Didn't you hear the Garrison? We've lost 700 troops already."

"Then does that mean everyone who hasn't made it has died for nothing?" Connie breathed out, looking around at the injured troops.

"Eventually, it will become an all out war. But until then, we have to preserve our forces. It's obvious that we should minimise casualties," Jean explained to him. "The brass made the right call."

"Is that so, huh?" Connie muttered.

"It is."

"Anyway... let's both ensure that we don't end up as casualties," Connie said.

Valeria's eyes flickered back to the direction of the elite team, watching as the red smoke faded with the wind. Carefully, the girl moved closer to the side of the wall. "Do you guys think... do you think the elite force is alright?"

"That's right, your brother's with them, isn't he?" Marco asked, stepping over to where she stood at the edge of the wall. "I'm sure they're fine, Valeria."

Despite his reassurance, Valeria couldn't tear her eyes away from the location of the Boulder. "I hope so," she whispered.

* * *

"Listen up. You just need to keep the Titans in the corner of the city," the Captain told them. "Stay focused on that, and draw them there. Got it?"

"You don't need to fight," he added. "Trainees, form groups of three-four and run along the ground. When you reach the wall, jump up. Don't get killed. If any Titans break away, we'll take care of them."

"If? Isn't it more of a when than an if?" Jean grumbled under his breath, causing Valeria to push his arm, knowing they shouldn't be speaking up against a superior in a time like this.

"If we think we're in danger, can we deviate from our orders?" Annie spoke up.

"If you believe it'll help," the captain looked at her.

A bunch of loud bangs echoed through the air, sounding the arrival of Titans nearby. "Kirstein squad, go!"

  
  


* * *

Valeria glanced over her shoulder as screams echoed through the air, just as one of the other soldiers was lifted up into a Titan's mouth. With Eren using his Titan power and Mikasa assigned to the elite force that was protecting him, Valeria had been moved to Jean's squad with Annie and Connie.

She quickly turned her head forward again, putting her focus back into running faster as the three Titans began to catch up with them. "Looks like we have to deviate from the plan, like it or not," Annie spoke up.

Valeria turned around a corner, almost slipping from the quick turn as she continued into a sprint. "Connie! Run!" She shouted, watching as the boy up ahead almost got grabbed by a Titan.

Though as he fired his manoeuvre gear, it ricocheted off the wall in front of him. Valeria fired her own gear, stopping on a rooftop to glance back down at Connie further up the street.

The Titan had gotten on its knees, but before it could grab Connie, Jean fired his own manoeuvre gear, piercing through the Titans hand with the hooks.

"Jean!" She called out, her eyes widening as the Titan began moving toward the boy as he sprinted in the other direction.

"Hurry! Go!" He shouted back to her and Connie, who had moved to join her on the rooftop.

Valeria spared Jean one last look before she headed for the inner wall, landing on it with a thud before she looking turned around, searching the streets below for Jean.

Only to find him running down one of the streets, with a Titan hot on his trail. "What's wrong?" Connie's eyes widening. "Why isn't he using his manoeuvre gear?"

"Shit, his gear must be malfunctioning!" Valeria realised, quickly pushing herself back onto her feet as she ran for the supplies. "We need to get down there!"

She pulled out the almost empty gas canisters attached to the sheaths of her swords, replacing them with fresh ones before she looked to Connie, who was quickly doing the same.

"Look!" Annie called them over, causing the two to run back to the edge of the wall.

The Titan had gotten distracted by something and Jean was running for the gear of the body crushed beneath nearby rubble.

"Jean!" Connie shouted. "Shit... his gear really is busted."

"What's going on?" Marco jogged over.

Valeria's eyes widened as the Titan finally turned back around, heading for Jean once more. And before she could stop herself, she was jumping off the wall, headed to at least distract the Titan while Jean replaced his gear.

"Valeria!" Marco yelled, though he and the others didn't hesitate to follow after her.

Valeria landed on one of the rooftops in the street, her eyes scanning the area for just a moment as she assessed the situation.

"Jean, calm down!" Marco yelled as he zipped past Valeria, sending a gust of wind past her as he flew by the Titan's face, successfully obtaining its attention.

"Marco! What are you doing here?!" Jean's eyes widened. However, the boy didn't answer as he took off running, luring the Titan away from Jean.

"Just focus on the gear!" Valeria told him, causing Jean to look up to the roof she was standing on.

"Valeria?! You too?!"

There's another Titan coming from the right!" Valeria announced. "We need to get a move on!"

Jean finally tore the gear away from the corpse, and after quickly replacing his own, he took off into the air once more.

Valeria continued running across the rooftops, her swords held tightly in her hands. Until she saw Jean hitting the ground from the corner of her eye.

As Valeria took a step forward, ready to take down the Titan that was headed for Jean, Connie seemed to come out of nowhere, kicking the Titan in the head before he landed beside Valeria.

"What are you doing?!" Jean shouted.

"Look who's talking!" Connie called out to him. "Hurry and get out of here!"

Valeria and Connie both jumped in opposite directions as the Titan slammed its hand on the roof where they were just standing.

With the Titan distracted, Valeria continued up to the wall, not stopping till she was safely landing.

As soon as her knee pressed against the concrete of Wall Rose, her head was snapping in Jean's direction. "Are you crazy or just stupid?!" She shouted, pointing her sword at him to make a point. "You could've gotten yourself killed down there!"

"Me? You all are insane!" He told her. "What were you thinking coming back?!"

"You're the crazy one!" Marco agreed.

"I can't believe I survived that!" Connie commented, his eyes widened in shock.

With a sigh, Valeria dropped her blades, the noise of them hitting the ground being the only thing heard as the group went silent. "Shit..." she muttered, pushing the fallen strands of her red hair out of her face, ignoring the feeling of how they stuck to her face with sweat. "I think we're all stupid."

"Speak for yourself!" Jean glanced at her.

"Look at that," Annie gasped, staring off into the distance.

Valeria followed her line of sight, before gasping too. Eren was moving the Boulder, the mission wasn't a failure after all.

Tucking her blades into their sheaths, Valeria shakily stood up, unable to tear her eyes away from the Titan moving the Boulder to the outer gate.

"Don't let the Titans interfere!" Jean ordered, looking back at the others. "Protect Eren!"

With that, they were jumping off the wall once more with a new mission in mind.

If Eren could get that Boulder to the gate, all they'd have to do is kill the remaining Titans in Trost. Then all the lives lost wouldn't be for nothing.

Maybe... maybe it was possible to retake Trost after all.


	15. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the battle had a devastating cost.

Eren had sealed the hole. For the first time ever, humans had defeated Titans.

There was once a time when Valeria thought they would never push back the Titans, that humanity would continuously lose and lose until they were no more. But they had done it, they retook Trost.

But as Valeria walked through the streets of Trost, she realised just how costly the battle had truly been. There were bodies everywhere she looked, more corpses than she could possibly count.

As soon as the remaining Titans had been defeated — a whole day after the lengthy battle — the survivors were sent out into the streets to gather and identify the corpses.

In the chaos, Valeria hadn't seen any of her friends, not since they went to protect Eren, she hadn't even seen her brother since the mission began.

Honestly? Part of her was scared she would turn one of these corner and find his rotting corpse scattered among the others. 

"Valeria?!" A shaky voice called out, causing the girl to turn around, her shoulders relaxing slightly as she began to recognise the figure headed in her direction.

"Jean," she breathed out, reaching out for him with one arm before it quickly dropped back down to her side, her hand clenching into a fist. No, she had to remain focused.

She still didn't know if Luca was okay, or if he was...

Seeming to recognise the sad look in her eyes, Jean began to speak. "I saw your brother," he stated. "He was helping take some of the bodies back inside Wall Rose."

"Thank god," Valeria whispered. "What about the others? Are they okay?"

"I think so," Jean nodded. "I... I thought you were-"

"I'm okay," she told him in reassurance, finally reaching out to place her gloved hand against the leather of his jacket's sleeve. "I'm alive. You're alive. I- I'm glad you are, I mean. I don't think..."

She paused for a moment. "I don't think I could've handled losing you and Mina on the same day."

Even with the bottom half of his face covered with a white cloth, Valeria could tell just how much their assignment was affecting him.

It was getting to her too. Even as a survivor of Shiganshina, she hadn't seen this much death in one place. It was terrifying.

And now that she wasn't fighting for her life, she had more time to think about her fallen friends. Though looking around at the corpses littering the streets, it confirmed what she had known since the colossal Titan kicked through the gate.

She had to join the Survey Corps, she had to put an end to the Titans reign of terror.

"Marco..." Jean began, barely able to speak at all.

"Marco?" Valeria repeated, before her eyes suddenly widened in realisation. There would only be one reason why Jean sounded as upset as he was when speaking about their friend. "No..."

"I... I saw him-" Jean glanced down at the ground. "No one knows how it happened."

The last time she had seen Marco... shit, she couldn't even remember. Was it when Jean told them to protect Eren from the Titans? Had she seen him at all after that? Was there a chance she could've saved him? God, if only she had stayed with him rather than splitting off.

Valeria suddenly turned around, ripping her mask off her face as she moved away from Jean, leaning over nearby as she emptied her stomach contents onto the pavement.

"H-hey!" Jean's eyes widened as he quickly followed after, placing one of his hands softly against Valeria's back, rubbing gently as she remained hunched over.

As everything went silent, Jean could just make out the sound of quiet sobs. Had The Garrison not already checked the street for survivors, he would've assumed it was just that, not Valeria's guard finally dropping as she mourned for those they had lost.

"Fuck!" She screamed, knocking Jean's hand off her back as her own fist came into contact with the brick wall. She suddenly stumbled back, cradling her hand to her chest as she swore repeatedly from the pain.

Jean didn't know what he expected would happen once he told her about their friend's death, but he surely wasn't expecting this. Especially as Valeria pulled her mask back over her face and wiped her eyes against her upper arm, careful to not touch her face with her gloves.

"We need to get back to moving the bodies," she stated, as if she hadn't just blown up the way she did.

"Valeria, wait!" Jean called out as the girl started walking again. "Your hand, you should head back with the injured."

As Jean finally caught up, he caught a glimpse of Valeria's face, including the grim expression her eyes held as she continued forward. "I'm fine," she said, her voice coming out hoarse from the tears she was holding back.

"Valeria, come on, ju-"

When Jean reached out to touch her, she suddenly ripped her arm away from his reach. "Stop... please." She refused to make eye contact. "It doesn't hurt. Just let me do this."

From the way her right hand was shaking, he could tell that was a lie. But there wasn't much he could do now, not when she had made it perfectly obvious that she didn't want or need his help.

"Just... go easy on your hand."

Valeria nodded her head. "Thank you."

Jean turned around to continue down the street, stopping for just a second to glance over his shoulder at Valeria as she turned the corner.

As soon as Valeria knew she was out of his sight, her legs finally gave out beneath her. Carefully raising her shaking hands, Valeria covered her ears, trying to block out the noises of nature, trying to block out her sobs and the urge to scream again.

With her head hanging low, she could feel hot tears falling from her eyes on to her pants. But it wasn't from the pain in her hand — the throbbing of it only getting worse with the way her hand was stretched open — it was the pain in her heart.

Valeria felt happy in the cadet corps, for what seemed like the first time since Shiganshina fell and her parents died. If the last three years had proved anything, it was that family could be more than just who shared your blood. Mina, Thomas, Marco... they were all like family in a way.

But the last few days had done almost everything to tear that away from her. Maybe the universe truly was out to get her, maybe she was just destined to be alone forever.

It sure seemed like the better option sometimes.

 _No_ , because if she was alone, she wouldn't have Armin and Jean, or Reiner, Sasha, Connie and Bertholdt. She didn't want to lose them, she couldn't. She couldn't lose anyone else.

Stuck in her thoughts, Valeria barely noticed the footsteps approaching her, until she was being pulled into someone's arms.

Valeria blinked in surprise, but did nothing to push away as the tears continued streaming down her face. She didn't want to be alone, she didn't want that at all. She never wanted to be alone, ever.

Finally, Valeria looked at the face of the person who had found her crying all alone. "Re... Reiner," she choked out.

"I heard about..." Reiner stopped himself from saying the name, but she knew he was talking about Marco. Reiner's head hung low as he refused to let go of teary eyed girl. "Just let it out, Valeria."

The two of them were silent for a moment, until the red haired began to speak. "I'm going to kill the Titans. All of them," Valeria muttered, ignoring how she felt Reiner's arms stiffened slightly. "They're all going to _pay_ for doing this."


	16. The Survey Corps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While under suspicion for killing two captured Titans, Valeria and comrades come to a decision.

When Valeria heard of the Survey Corps capturing two Titans from Trost, she had been curious as to what new information they could possibly find out about the Titans. What with Eren's new ability to transform himself, it turned everything they knew about the monsters upside down.

But now? After the Titans had been mysteriously killed, and suspicion was turned to Valeria and the 104th, she was left to wonder why anybody could possibly want to ruin humanity's chance to figure out what was behind the race of Titans.

"When did you last change shafts?"

"Six days ago after the cleanup operation in Trost," Valeria answered, her head held high in fear that they'd suspect her of something she had no part in.

"Just as the records say," the woman in front of her stated, writing something down on her clipboard as they moved onto the next person.

"You, next!"

"Christa Lenz, squad 42," the smaller girl spoke up.

"Check for wear." The man ordered, as he and his partner checked the gear laid out on the table in front of Christa.

As they continued down the line up, Jean began to whisper to Valeria from where he stood to her left. "This is stupid," he muttered.

"What do you mean?" Valeria kept her eyes focused in front of her. Though she didn't want to admit it, she was afraid that if she looked Jean in the eyes, it'd be the last time she ever got to.

Sure, she knew they were safe now. But how long would that really last with her planning to join the Survey Corps upon graduation.

"We've been cleaning up the battlefield for days," Jean explained in a hushed tone. "We haven't had the time to do anything like t-"

"It's just a precaution," Valeria told him, pausing for a moment before continuing. "Though I think I can understand why they did it... With everything, everyone, that we lost trying to get Eren to that Boulder. I can't help but wonder if these assassins were just trying to avenge their friends."

"And that just makes up for it?" He asked.

"No, of course not," Valeria whispered. "But I can't say I wouldn't do the same in their shoes... I mean, that's why we're joining the survey corps, isn't it? To get revenge on the Titans?"

"You're starting to sound like that suicidal bastard."

_Valeria stared at the fire, watching the corpses of the people who were once her comrades turn to ashes. Aside from the sound of embers hitting the concrete ground, Connie's sobs were the only noise heard amongst the trainees._

_Valeria's eyes flickered to Reiner, his expression hardened as he stayed focused on the fire. Not a word had been spoken between them since Valeria's outburst, though that was probably a good thing._

_Even though Valeria regretted the outburst, she didn't regret the decision she had already made in her mind. Joining the Survey Corps was truly the only option._

_She couldn't possibly live a safe life behind Wall Sina after everything she had seen. How could she live with herself for even trying to do so when she knew the horrors that laid outside the walls?_

_Who knew when the next attack from the Colossal Titan was, it could happen any day now. Valeria wanted to be prepared._

_Looking around at the rest of her comrades, she remembered the other reason why she had to join the survey corps and put an end to the Titans..._

_She didn't want to imagine who would be the next one to lay upon the bed of fire._

_Jean suddenly stood up from his spot near the fire, snapping Valeria out of her thoughts. "Hey, guys..." he turned around. The first thing Valeria noticed was the scared expression he held on his face. "Have you decided which one you're joining? I have."_

_He raised a hand, only to hold onto it with the other as they began shaking. "I..." he began, his voice shaking just as much as his hands as he spoke. "I'm joining the Survey Corps!"_

_Valeria's eyes widened in shock. Jean Kirstein giving up his chance at a soft, easy life in the interior? For what, what did he possibly expect to happen aside from a guaranteed death at the hands of Titans?_

_She didn't want that for him. She didn't want that for any of her friends, but for some_ _reason, the image of him dying by a Titan scared her the most._

"Maybe I am," Valeria stated, referring to his comment about how she was sounding a bit like Eren. "But you're the same."

Jean's hand clenched into a fist for just a moment, before it relaxed again. "So much for a safe, comfortable life within the interior."

Valeria bit back a smile, remembering the days where a safe life inside the walls was all the pair ever thought about. "When we kill the Titans and put an end to their reign of terror, I'll see you in the interior. Being neighbours surely can't be as bad as being your partner in the training exercises."

Jean blinked in surprise, his eyes flickering back to the girl beside him. When he had thought of a life within the interior, he had always thought of a family of his own to go along with it.

But now it seemed like whenever he thought of a life in the interior, all he could see was Valeria, her shining emerald eyes and the grin that could brighten his day with no fail.

Though even with it all laid out right in front of him, Jean couldn't come up with a single explanation as to why Valeria of all people happened to be the face he saw by his side in those dreams.

"When we kill the Titans, there won't be an interior, stupid," he pointed out the flaw in her idea, as if it hadn't stirred something inside him.

"Then... we'll go see the ocean Armin always speaks about," she corrected.

The smile on her face didn't quite reach her eyes, that was the first thing Jean noticed as she finally looked at him again. Her once bright emerald eyes seeming quite dull instead.

Though he understood why. After her reaction to Marco's death, he doubted she'd be able to bounce back so quickly. He doubted any of them could.

But even a small step like imagining her future was a step in the right direction.

* * *

Valeria crossed her arms as she leaned against the wall behind her. They had been let out of questioning but still remained in the barracks, awaiting their graduation and the chance to pick which branch of military they were choosing.

"You changed your mind about the Military Police too?!" Sasha stared at Valeria in shock, as the girl simply nodded. "Jeez, but that's all you've talked about since day one!"

"Jean! You're really joining the Survey Corps?" Armin questioned as Jean approached their small group.

"Yeah."

"Why, all of a sudden?" Sasha asked. "I mean... aren't you scared?"

"Huh?" Jean tilted his head slightly as he stared at Sasha. "Of course I don't want to join the Survey Corps."

"Th- then why?" Connie piped up.

"It isn't that I decided the Titans don't scare me," Jean answered. "And I won't say something like "the best should join the survey corps." I'm not as eager to die as some."

"You mean Eren," Connie breathed out. "He already joined the Survey Corps."

"Even if he had changed his mind in the end, it's not like he had a choice," Valeria commented. "What use would he be in any other branch? They don't need a Titan going around enforcing law inside the interior."

"Trainees, line up! Line up before the stage!"

"I'm not risking my life because someone convinced me," Jean stated. "This is a job you can't do unless you decide for yourself."

With that, he turned his back on the group and walked off to line up.

Valeria let out a sigh, carefully pushing off the wall and taking a few steps forward, before looking back to Connie and Sasha. "Jean's right, you know. You can't join the Survey Corps because Eren convinced you. This decision is up to you alone."

* * *

  
  


As the sun finally set, Commander Erwin took his place on the stage in front of the trainees. "I am Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps," he began. "Today, you will choose a military branch. Put bluntly, I'm here to persuade you to join the Survey Corps."

Valeria didn't need to be persuaded into it. She had decided it the moment she used her comrades deaths to get to the HQ, and again when she saw just how costly the battle of Trost had really been.

Maybe she had really decided it back when the Titan ate her father right in front of her and her mother was killed in a mission disguised as a culling.

If an event like that happened again, Valeria couldn't just sit on the sidelines and watch it unfold. No... she had to be strong enough to put a stop to it herself. That's what these last three years had been preparing her for.

"During the Titan attack, you learned how terrifying they can be. And how limited your own power is. However... This battle brought humanity closer to victory than its ever been." Erwin announced. "Through Eren Jaeger's existence."

"By risking his own life, he's proven himself, without doubt, a friend to humanity." Erwin continued. "With his help, not only did we stop the Titans advance, but we have a way to discover their true nature."

Valeria's eyes widened. They had found a way to discover the true nature behind Titans? How?

"We believe that in the basement of his Shiganshina home, there are answers about the Titans that he himself doesn't have." Erwin answered, almost as if he could read the minds of the trainees standing before him. "If we can reach that basement, we will find a clue that will end this century of Titan rule."

All along, the secret to the Titans was in Eren's basement? The basement of a house that Valeria had been to countless times.

All along she had been standing atop the one thing that could save humanity, and no one knew about it.

Valeria looked over to Mikasa and Armin, only to find them just as surprised as she was.

Valeria's hands, which had been shaking since she made eye contact with the colossal Titan two days ago, clenched into fists.

The secret to the Titans laid beneath the rubble of Shiganshina, the one thing that could save humanity was in the abandoned waste of the place she had called home, and she was determined to find it.

"We will head for the basement in Shiganshina," Erwin continued. "However, that requires us to retake Wall Maria. In other words, our objective hasn't changed."

He turned around as two other members of the Survey Corps unravelled a large sheet with a map of Wall Maria on it. "But with the Trost gate sealed, we'll have to take the long way around, from Karanes to the east."

He faced the trainees once more. "The four years we spent laying a route for a huge army has gone to waste. In those four years, more than sixty percent of the Survey Corps lost their lives. Sixty percent in four years... an insane figure."

"Any trainees who join will participate in our excursion beyond the walls, in a month," Erwin stated. "We expect thirty percent won't return. In four years, most will be dead. But those who survive will become superior soldiers with a high survival rate. Knowing these discouraging facts, any still willing to risk their lives, remain here. Ask yourself... are you willing to offer your beating heart for humanity?"

"That is all," he concluded. "Anyone who wishes to join another branch is dismissed."

Valeria remained frozen in place as majority of the crowd began to disperse. Part of her knew she should go with them, before word got back to Luca that she ever even considered joining the Survey Corps. But the other part of her knew that this really was the only way.

Armin was right all those years ago, they couldn't remain inside the walls forever. One day they'll all fall. And they needed to put an end to the race of Titans before that could happen.

In the end, only a small fraction of the trainees remained in front of the stage. "Can you die if you're ordered to?" Erwin questioned as he stared down at them.

"I don't want to die!" One of them called out.

"I see." A grim smile appeared on the commander's face. "I like the looks on your faces. Then I welcome everyone here to the Survey Corps! This is a true salute! Offer up your hears!" He placed his right fist against the left side of his chest.

Immediately, Valeria and the other trainees copied his stance. Despite Valeria's determination to join the survey corps and head back to Shiganshina one day, to stop the Titans and avenge her friends before she lost anyone else, she couldn't stop the whisper that escaped her lips.

"I'm scared."

"You have done well to endure your fear," Erwin stated. "You are brave soldiers. You have my heartfelt respect."

* * *

"Salute!" The trainees quickly did as they were ordered.

"I'm Squad Leader Ness," the man introduced himself. "And this is Shallot, my horse. She loves to chew off your hair, so be careful if you don't want to be bald. Nice to meet you all."

Suddenly Shallot leaned forward to begin pulling at the cloth Ness wore over his head. "Hey! S-stop it, Shallot! Hey, someone grab her!"

Their training began the day after graduation. Rather than the intense physical training they had been receiving as trainees, they were instead focusing on memorising the Survey Corps long range scouting formation, all in preparation for the mission they'd be part of in just a month's time.

"You new recruits will be here," Ness announced, pointing at their spot in the formation. "You'll be between the cart guard team and the recon support team. Your job will be to ride alongside the spare horses and relay messages."

Valeria hadn't signed up to the Survey Corps to be a messenger, but she understood why it was a job given to trainees. Despite their mission in Trost, they weren't as experienced outside of the walls as their superiors were.

The next few weeks of training seemed to go by in a blur, until Valeria and the trainees were taken to the old survey corps HQ.

"Eren, did they do anything bad to you?!" Mikasa's voice caused Valeria to slow down. The girl suddenly turned around, surprised to see Eren being allowed to roam around freely. "Like investigating every square inch of you? Or psychological torture?"

"No way," Eren shook his head.

Mikasa's expression suddenly grew dark for a moment. "That short guy went too far. Someday, I'll see him pay for it."

"You don't mean Captain Levi, do you?" Eren asked.

"Hey, Eren!" Connie piped in, happy to see the boy again after he was so suddenly separated from his classmates by the Survey Corps.

"What? Everyone's here?" Eren's eyes widened as the group approached him. "But if you're here, then... that doesn't mean you joined the Survey Corps, does it?"

"Is there any other reason we'd be here?" Connie asked him.

"So only Jean, Annie and Marco joined the Military Police?" Eren noted the absence of the three.

Valeria averted her gaze at the sound of Marco's name, knowing it wouldn't be long until someone had to tell Eren that Marco never made it out of Trost that day.

Eren suddenly turned around as the sound of footsteps approached, his eyes widening as he realised it was Jean who stood behind him. "No way... not you, too!"

"Marco's dead," Jean stated bluntly. Valeria stared at the boy in shock, knowing there was a better way of announcing his death to Eren.

Eren was quiet for a moment. "What was that?" He stuttered, not wanting to believe it. "Did you say Marco's dead?"

"Seems not everyone gets a dramatic death," Jean said. "I don't even know how he died. He died without anyone knowing, or anyone seeing."

"Marco..." Eren whispered.

"Hey, new kids, get over here!" Ness shouted, causing Valeria to look over in his direction. "Your uniforms are here!"

* * *

  
  


As night finally came, the trainees gathered together inside the former HQ. "Are you really..."

"Yes, we'll also be participating in the mission," Mikasa told Eren.

"Hey, Eren," Jean spoke up. "I heard that when you turned into a Titan, you tried to kill Mikasa. What does that mean?"

"No. Eren was trying to hit a fly..."

"I wasn't asking you," Jean cut her off. "Mikasa, it looks like the wound on your cheek is pretty bad. When did you get that?"

"Jean," Valeria glanced at the boy. It was pretty obvious when Mikasa got the scar, did they really need to go bother Eren about it?

"I've heard it's true," Eren muttered. "When I became a Titan, I tried to kill Mikasa."

"If you heard, then you don't remember it, right?" Jean questioned. "In other words, you had no idea you even had this Titan power, and you don't have the means to control it."

"Yes, that's right," Eren sighed.

Jean turned to look at the others. "Did you hear that? This is the situation. Humanity and our lives depend on him. We'll probably die just like Marco, without Eren ever realising it."

Valeria kept her head down, her hands clenching into fists as she bit back the words she wanted to say.

Jean was her friend, probably one of her closest remaining friends in their squad now that Mina was dead. But sometimes, she hated just how honest he was.

"Jean, what's the point in asking Eren these questions now?" Mikasa asked.

"Listen, Mikasa," Jean sighed, glancing over his shoulder at her. "Not everyone's like you, willing to die for Eren's sake with nothing in return... we should know what we're dying for. Otherwise, we'll hesitate when the time comes. We want something in return from him. So let me see what he has to offer. And whether it's worth my life."

Jean walked over to Eren, placing his hands on the boy's shoulder. "So, Eren... I'm really counting on you." The words came out slow, as if Jean couldn't really accept what he was saying to his longtime rival.

In just a few days, they'd be heading back to Wall Maria to secure a path for their mission.

Valeria just hoped that today wouldn't be the last day she saw all these people standing together, alive and in one piece.


	17. Outside the Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 57th expedition begins, and Valeria comes face to face with a new form of Titan.

Valeria held on tightly to the reins of her horse as she followed the formation through one of the abandoned towns just outside of Wall Rose.

With the support team fighting a Titan right to their left, it was hard to hear their captain shouting for them to push forward. But Valeria kept her eyes focused on the path ahead, her grip tightening even more if that were possible.

Any second now they'd be splitting off into the long range scouting formation, she'd lose sight of many of her friends as they entered Titan's land.

 _Please don't let this be the last time I see them,_ Valeria thought, taking a quick glance at Armin who rode beside her and then to Sasha, who was just ahead.

Why did they have to join the Survey Corps? They could be safe inside the walls right now, but instead, they were heading into lands taken over by the Titans years ago.

They were heading toward Shiganshina and putting their lives in the palms of Eren's hands when they weren't too sure he could even be trusted to protect them.

As they left the abandoned town, the formation began to split. "See ya, Armin," Reiner called out, heading toward the right.

"If you run into a Titan, don't piss your pants," Jean told the blonde boy.

Despite the fear coursing through her veins, Valeria couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Jean, if anything, you're the one who'll piss their pants."

As Valeria looked to the left, prepared to head off in that direction to spread out the message relay, Jean spoke up. "Whatever... Just be careful out there, alright?"

Valeria glanced back at him, nodding her head slightly as she gave him a smile. "You too!"

The two shared a look before separating, headed for their respective spots in the formation.

"Remember what you were taught," the soldier beside her told her as they continued forward. "Only deviate from the plan if you're in danger. And remember to relay signals!"

"Right!" Valeria responded, letting go of the reins with one hand so her fingers could brush against the bag attached to her horse, the bag with the flare gun and smoke rounds inside.

Valeria was in charge of relay. She was supposed to look out for smoke rounds before shooting her own for the others in the formation to see in the distance.

Minutes passed and the other soldier had left to create a bigger distance between the relay team, leaving Valeria alone with her thoughts as she kept moving forward.

A shaky breath escaped her lips as her eyes scanned the area, though she was more focused on the red smoke round that had been fired without any follow up to the situation.

It was in Armin's direction... Valeria hoped he was okay. That all of her friends were alright out there.

Her eyes widened as a black smoke round was fired into the air. Black, it meant a Titan was ignoring them and heading straight for the formation.

Valeria quickly reached into the satchel, connecting the black coloured smoke round to the tip of her flare gun before firing it up into the air.

Not even five minutes later another black smoke round was fired, though instead of immediately relaying the message, Valeria slowed her horse to a stop.

Two in a row?

"Armin," Valeria's eyes widened, flicking the reins of her horse as she began to head in Armin's direction.

She was breaking formation slightly, but there were other people over there who could keep relaying messages. She needed to make sure Armin and the others were okay.

And if possible, she could help take down the Abberant breaking into the formation.

Valeria arrived at the same time as Reiner, who had brought one of the spare horses. "Armin!" Valeria called out, riding in from the left and stopping at Armin's side just as Reiner did.

"Reiner! Valeria!" Armin's eyes widened.

Valeria glanced back in the direction of the Titan that had just left Armin. "What the fuck is happening?" She breathed out.

"Hey, can you stand?" Reiner asked the boy. "You won't last outside the walls unless you're on horseback... hurry!"

Armin nodded his head, pushing himself onto his feet before climbing onto the spare horse.

Valeria looked over to Armin as they began to follow behind the abberant. "When I saw the black smoke round, I came immediately."

"Was it that one there with the nice ass?" Reiner pointed toward the Titan they were following from a distance.

"That's no abberant," Armin stated. "It's a human in a Titan body."

Valeria's eyes widened. "Another one like Eren?" She questioned before realising something. "Shit, we need to fire a smoke round."

Just as Valeria connected the yellow coloured smoke to her flare gun, a bang echoed through the air. Her head quickly turned around, though she relaxed slightly as she spotted Jean riding up behind them, one of his hands raised in the air as the yellow smoke round flew upward.

"Wait... I think Jean fired it," Reiner pointed out.

"Yeah, no shit," Valeria scoffed.

More yellow smoke rounds were fired from the right. "It came from the right flank," Reiner noted. "Does that mean we're so compromised, we can't continue the mission?"

"Looks like the right flank recon squad was partially wiped out!" Jean announced as he finally caught up with the trio. "Titans, tons of them. I don't know why, but there are lots of fast ones. For now, we're holding them back, but recon is no longer possible... we've taken heavy losses, and if we aren't careful, we'll be destroyed."

"That Titan came from the same direction," Armin whispered. "No way... was it leading the Titans?"

"It?" Jean asked, finally noticing the female titan just up ahead. "Why is a Titan over there? An abberant?"

"Armin believes they're another human in titan form," Valeria informed Jean. "We need to warn the others before it completely wipes us out."

"What?" Jean's eyes widened, as Valeria looked back him, a grim expression on her face that told him all he needed to know; she thought Armin was right.

"Why do you think that, Armin?" Reiner asked.

"The Titans only eat us," Armin answered. "We're just killed in the process. Killing us isn't ever specifically their goal. But when Sys aimed for its weak spot, it crushed him and smashed him into the ground."

"Ness and Sys are dead?" Valeria gasped. Sure, she knew it was highly likely when she found Armin alone with a Titan fleeing the scene, but she didn't want to believe it.

"Y... yes," Armin nodded before continuing his explaination. "It killed him to kill, rather than to eat him. Its nature is different from the others. When the colossal and Armoured Titans destroyed the wall, it must've been the one that brought the army of Titans."

Valeria's grip on the reins tightened as her eyes narrowed in the female Titan's direction. "So you're saying that everyone we lost that day, died because of this Titan?" She questioned.

Her father would've escaped Shiganshina had this Titan not drawn others to the broken gate. He would still be alive...

"Yes."

“Valeria!" Jean shouted to gain her attention, after noticing the way she raised the reins slightly as if she were about to speed up. "Don't do anything stupid!"

Before Valeria got the chance to say anything, Armin spoke up again. "It felt like it was looking for someone... If that's the case, could it be looking for... could it be looking for Eren?"

“It is," Valeria stated. "No one else here is as important as Eren. We all know that. If this Titan's goal is to destroy humanity, then it needs to get rid of Eren first."

"Eren?" Reiner glanced at the two. "Eren's with Squad Levi, which is in charge of the right flank."

Valeria's brows furrowed in confusion. The right flank? No, that wasn't right.

"The right flank?" Jean stared at Reiner in confusion. "The plans I got had them to the rear of the left flank."

"Mine said the front of the left flank," Valeria commented. Why would they be given different plans with Eren in different positions each time?

"Mine... mine said they were near the front of the right..." Armin trailed off. "Wait, there's no way they'd be on the front lines."

"So where are they?" Reiner asked.

"Probably the safest place in the formation," Armin said. "Which means in the center, and toward the rear."

"Armin. There's no time to think," Jean told him. "Smoke rounds can't possibly indicate how much of a threat it poses! At this rate, it'll wipe out command. Then the formation will fall apart, and that'll be the end."

"What are you trying to say?"

"In other words, at this range, we may still be able to draw its attention. We may be able to buy time to withdraw."

Valeria's head snapped in Jean's direction. "Aren't you the one who said not to do anything stupid? You heard Armin, didn't you? It's looking for Eren, it won't care about us."

"Val's right," Armin agreed. "To it, we're nothing but insignificant insects. It'll just crush us..."

Jean's face took on a grim expression. "Seriously? That's scary." He let out a laugh of fear.

"Hey, are you really Jean?" Reiner spoke up. "The Jean I know never thinks of anyone but himself."

That was wrong. Throughout the battle of Trost, Jean had shown just how much he cares about others. Maybe Valeria saw it because she was looking at him as the leader she couldn't bring herself to be, but she saw it regardless.

Jean was one of the best people she knew.

"Don't be an ass," Jean told Reiner. "I just don't want those charred bones I saw to be disappointed in me. I... I know what I have to do now! And this is the job we chose. Help me!"

Jean was right, they needed to distract the female Titan before it wiped out command. And honestly? Valeria wanted to avenge all those she had lost because of this Titan drawing other Titans to them.

Swallowing the lump forming in the back of her throat, Valeria began to speak. "How are we doing this?"

Armin let go of the reins to pull the hood of his cloak over his head. "Put on your hood," he ordered them. "As far forward as you can... so that your face is hidden from it.

Valeria reached back with one hand, pulling her hood over her head to cover both her hair and face. "I don't think it will kill us until it knows who we are!" Armin continued.

"Oh." Reiner did as Armin ordered, lifting his hood up to cover his face. "You believe if it thinks we might be Eren, it won't kill us? If nothing else, it'll make me feel better. Let's just hope it has poor eyesight."

"Armin, I always thought it was creepy how you always cling to Eren," Jean admitted, pulling his own hood up. "But I've always thought you had it in you."

"Uh, thanks," Armin whispered. "But creepy? That's really mean..."

"I wouldn't stress too much about it, Armin," Valeria shot a smile in his direction. "Jean shows affection by insulting people."

"Hey!"

* * *

  
  


Valeria kept her eyes focused on the female Titan as they continued moving. It was much slower now, as if it was running out of energy after all this running.

If she struck now, maybe she could take down the Titan.

As Jean jumped off his horse, shooting one of his grapples at the Titan's leg, it suddenly turned around. Jean's hooks were knocked away from the Titan as it turned its attention toward Armin.

With a simple slap, Armin's horse was thrown in the opposite direction as the boy went flying forward.

"Armin!" Valeria shouted, before her eyes narrowed in the Titan's direction. It's back was turned to her, maybe now was the time to strike.

Placing one foot on the saddle of her horse, Valeria kicked herself up, her hooks digging into the exposed muscle of the titan's shoulder as it brought the girl closer and closer to the Titan that had moved for Armin.

Jean seeming to notice Valeria's plan, followed after the girl, attaching his own grapples to the Titan's other shoulder as the pair moved in closer.

The Titan raised one of its arms, almost knocking Valeria out of the air, before the girl used gas from her canisters to dodge the attack.

Wait... Valeria's eyes widened as she moved around to the Titan's back, realising it was covering its nape with one hand. This was no abberant, Armin was right. This was a human.

"Jean! Val! Avenge the suicidal bastard!" Armin screamed out as the Titan went to attack them again, though his screams caused the Titan to freeze.

Why did it stop? No... did it know Eren's nickname?

"That's the one... That's the one that killed him!" Armin continued. "He rushed to his death on the right flank! Avenge him!"

Valeria landed on the ground with a thud, taking a moment to catch her breath as she refused to look away from the Titan.

The shock would wear off soon and it would begin attacking again, they needed to take advantage of the moment.

"Shit!" Valeria hissed under her breath, before her fingers pressed against the trigger of her manoeuvre gear, firing her hooks into the Titan's neck once more.

"Valeria!" Jean shouted from behind her, but Valeria ignored his voice, raising her swords up as she prepared to strike.

The Titan quickly glanced in her direction, causing Valeria's eyes to widen. Everything seemed like it was going in slow motion as the Titan reached out to grab ahold of her.

Out of nowhere, Valeria was getting knocked out of the way, the sudden push causing her hooks to fall out of the Titans exposed muscle as the girl began falling back for the ground.

Staring up, Valeria caught a glimpse of Reiner looking down at her just as the Titan's hand closed around him.

Snapping out of her fear, Valeria quickly fired her gear again, using it to move away from a Titan and toward the nearby trees where Jean was watching in shock.

Valeria hit the ground once more, rolling for a moment due to the momentum before she quickly pushed herself up slightly.

"Reiner..." she whispered, staring up at the Titan's hand as it remained close.

Jean, breaking out of his trance, started running for Valeria. But just as he caught up to the girl, Reiner was slicing his way through the Titan's grasp.

Reiner landed on the ground beside Armin, plucking the boy up off the ground as he began running away from the female Titan.

Valeria remained on the ground, staring at Reiner's retreating form in shock. Her actions almost cost him his life... he could've died because of her.

"Valeria! Come on!" Jean shouted, pulling the girl off the ground so they could follow after Reiner and Armin. "We need to go!"

Valeria watched as the Titan remained frozen, staring down at its steaming hand. "R... right!"

"We've brought enough time right?" Reiner called out to the pair. "Let's get the hell away from it! If it isn't a man-eater, it won't follow us!"

Glancing over her shoulder, Valeria watched as the Titan stood up and took off running in the opposite direction.

Something was wrong... something was seriously wrong.


End file.
